Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent you agree?

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It is widely acknowledged that international
games
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have considerable benefits not only for
people
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but
also
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for governments.
While
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a significant number of
people
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believe that these
games
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place a burden on crime safety for home countries, I strongly believe that these
events
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have a positive impact on relaxing global tension and bring
people
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together for their countries' success because they can support their teams through
games
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.
This
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essay will elaborate on my position with relevant arguments and examples. On the one hand, international
games
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have a considerable impact on improving social cohesion for a country.
This
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is because these
events
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can bring
people
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from diverse backgrounds to support their national team, allowing them to spend time together.
For instance
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,
while
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the USA has a society
that is
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made up of
people
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who come from different communities,
World
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Cup
games
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raise awareness of a sense of patriotism.
As a result
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, these
events
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strengthen bonds among citizens by building a common aim for everyone.
Furthermore
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, global
events
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also
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have enormous economic benefits to contribute to governments' finances. These
events
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,
such
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as the
World
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Cup, draw football lovers' attention from across the
world
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, encouraging them to travel to the home country. When they visit a home country that changes every four years, they spend money to accommodate and taste new food. To illustrate, the 2026
World
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Cup is held in Canada, allowing the government to increase its income during the
games
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through tourism.
Thus
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,
while
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there are concerns about safety from crime
due to
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an excessive number of visitors who come from different countries, football
games
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boost the economy in the short term. In conclusion,
although
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global
games
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have drawbacks in terms of public safety, I firmly believe that they can create beneficial opportunities for
people
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and governments because international
events
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play a crucial role not only in boosting the economy but
also
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in improving social bonds among citizens.

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task response
Focus more on the exact question. Explain more fully how these events can ease tension between countries and let people show love for their country in a safe way. Your second main part about money is linked to big sports events, but it does not directly answer the main point about international tension.
task response
Give a more direct example of two countries with a history of conflict playing a match, where fans can show strong feelings through sport instead of violence. This would make your view more complete.
task response
Be careful with facts. The 2026 World Cup will not be held only in Canada; it will be in Canada, the USA, and Mexico. Also, say “will be held”, not “is held”, when you talk about this future event.
coherence and cohesion
Make the link between paragraphs stronger. After the first body part, show why the next idea helps answer the question. If you keep the money point, explain clearly how it relates to peace or safe patriotic feeling.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because the idea is not stated in a clear order. For example, replace “they spend money to accommodate and taste new food” with “they spend money on hotels, food, and travel.”
coherence and cohesion
Use more exact linking words for contrast. Instead of starting with “On the one hand” without a matching second side, use “First” or “One reason is”. Then use “Another reason is” for the next paragraph.
task response
You give a clear view: world sports events can bring people together and help a country. Your main ideas stay close to the topic.
task response
You use examples, such as the USA and the World Cup, to show how people may support one team.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and an end. Words such as “On the one hand”, “Furthermore”, and “In conclusion” help the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one central idea: people coming together, then money from visitors.
Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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