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Band 6.5

The chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US

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The chart below indicates the number of people who have heart attacks every year in the US
The graph
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have heart attacks every year in the US .
This
Linking Words
 report aims to summarise the key trends,significant comparisons and notable changes highlighted in the data.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident that
people
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over experienced a marked increase,
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 highest value
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
represented in
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 29-44
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
 the smallest.Another notable trend is that
men
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aged 45-64 and those aged 65 and over
,which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have almost identical numbers over the year.
Initially
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over accounted for 440.000
men
Use synonyms
ages
Check wording
apply
show examples
,making it the highest among all ages.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by
people
Use synonyms
age
Use synonyms
 45-64,
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 represent approximately 424.000 for
men
Use synonyms
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
significantly lower
thean
Correct your spelling
than
 the largest
age
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the contribution of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 29-44 is relatively insignificant,with
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of only 123.000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,a noticeable trend is the uniformity between
men
Use synonyms
 aged 45-64 and 65 and over,which both show
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar growth patterns over the year.
To sum up
Linking Words
,the data highlights
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer with heart attacks ,with
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
 65 and over stands oyt as the most significant feature.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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