The charts below show the proportion of expenditure. by students, on average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010

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The charts below show the proportion of expenditure. by students, on average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the proportion of expenditure. by students, on average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010
The pie chart compares the percentage of
expense
Check wording
expenses
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by students, on average
at
Punctuation problem
, at
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a university in 2000 and over the next ten years.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
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the majority of
participants
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participants'
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expenditures were allocated to daily essentials
such
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as transport, food and drink, clothing, sports and cultural
and
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activities and
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eating out. The most significant change observed was in clothing,
while
Linking Words
the rates for using electricity or water saw a rise in 2010. Focusing on the left graph, in 2000, students spent 29% for their food and drink, compared to the dining out spent 4%.
Additionally
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, students allocated 21% for utilities.
Following
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this
Linking Words
, they dedicated approximately 17% to sports and
cultural
Replace the word
culture
. Clothing and transport were spent 16% and 8%, in 2000, respectively. 5% was saved for holidays. As depicted in the other graph, the proportion of eating at home remained
stable relatively
Correct word order
relatively stable
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at 29%.
while
Linking Words
there was
slightly increased
Replace the word
a slight increase
of 4% in dining out. Compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2000 and 2010, utilities slowly rose to 27%.
By contrast
Linking Words
sports
Punctuation problem
, sports
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and
Punctuation problem
,
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cultural
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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holidays remained stable from 2000
and
Change preposition
to
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2010.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage spent on clothing rapidly decreased from 16% to 5% in 2010. Transport expenditure saw
slightly increased
Replace the word
a slight increase
of 1%, rose to 9%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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