IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people think that universities should focus on practical skills rather than theoretical knowledge. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
These days
there
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, there
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 has been a debate about whether practical expertise or subject
knowledge
Use synonyms
 needs to be prioritised in pursuing higher education.
While
Linking Words
 there could be some reasons for accepting academic competence as the main aspect, I am partially against it
due to
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 the fact that hands-on skills play a crucial role in
a
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apply
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working life.
Body paragraph 1
On
one
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the one
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 hand, most people hold the view that university education can help them to land well-paid jobs. It is undeniable that it can equip young scholars with
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of underlying principles. Workers with expert
knowledge
Use synonyms
 in their fields are increasingly valued in contemporary society. It is not easy to obtain good grades and
Correct article usage
a
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high
GPAs
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GPA
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in university.
This
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 means that they are determined and passionate
in
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about
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 their subjects.
This
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 can give them a huge advantage in the working environment
as
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, as
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 the company does not have to spend extra resources
for
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on
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 the recruitment process.
For example
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, big and highly reputable companies usually scout top students in prestigious universities and offer internships.
Body paragraph 2
However
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,
on the other hand
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, it is my belief that having academic expertise does not guarantee a person’s success in their career. In today’s competitive job market, potential candidates with more work experience are preferable.
For instance
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, interviewees are commonly asked
their
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about their
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 years of job experience in almost every interview. As a working environment is completely different from university, employers are unwilling to train newbies with zero work experience from scratch. Hiring experienced staff can be more beneficial in terms of productivity and performance in the long run.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 there are those who point out the importance of expert
knowledge
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, it is my contention that work-related skills are
also
Linking Words
 essential to become versatile individuals.

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task response
Your view is clear: you partly disagree because work skills are very important. However, say more clearly what universities should do. For example, state that they should teach both theory and real work skills, rather than put one above the other.
task response
Some ideas need closer support. The point about high grades shows hard work, but it does not fully show why theory should be the main focus. Add a direct link: theory helps students understand why and how things work.
task response
Your second main point is useful, but it talks more about employers than universities. Explain how universities can give work skills, such as work placement, projects with firms, lab work, or role play.
task response
The example of large firms finding top students is relevant, but it is quite general. Give one clear case, such as a medical student needing both science knowledge and time in a hospital.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, one side, the other side, and ending. Keep this shape, but make the opening position more exact so each body part clearly supports it.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are mostly clear. In the first body part, move from theory to grades to hiring more smoothly. At present, the link between good grades and a firm saving money is not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer broad phrases such as 'It is undeniable' and 'This means that'. Instead, name the idea again when needed. This will make each link easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The final paragraph repeats that work skills are essential, but it does not fully match the opening claim about partial disagreement. End by restating the main balance: theory is needed, yet universities should give equal or strong space to practical learning.
task response
You answer both sides of the issue and give a clear personal view.
task response
Your points about job experience, work output, and firm needs are relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, which makes the essay easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear signposts such as 'On one hand', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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