IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Waste disposal in one European country ( 2005-2008)

4.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The bar chart illustrates the average
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 disposed of by three different methods in a European country between 2005 and 2008,
meansured
Correct your spelling
measured
 in
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 to landfill experienced a sharp decline throughout the period.
By contrast
Linking Words
, burning
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 increasingly popular and was the main method of
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal in 2008. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 dumped at sea
also
Linking Words
 showed a gradual decrease.
Body paragraph 2
In 2005,
landfill
Check wording
landfills
show examples
 accounted for the largest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
, at approximately 1,800
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure fell steadily to about 1,100
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2008. Meanwhile, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 dumped at sea dropped from roughly 550
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 to 450
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 between 2005 and 2006. It continued to fall to approximately 350
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007 and 250
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2008.
Conclusion
As for burning, the figure was relatively stable at 450
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in both 2005 and 2006. It
then
Linking Words
 rose gradually to about 500
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007. In
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 years, there was a more noticeable increase, with the figure reaching approximately 600
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Check the chart units very carefully. The figures may be in thousand tonnes, not million tonnes. Using the wrong unit makes the report less accurate.
task response
Make the overview more exact. Burning rose, but landfill was still the largest method in 2008, so it was not the main method that year.
task response
Include the key comparison in the last year: landfill was about 1,100, while burning was about 600. This shows the large fall in landfill clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your report has a clear order: introduction, overview, then details. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Group data by clear links. For example, describe the two falling methods together, then describe burning. This makes the main changes easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear time words with correct forms: “In the final year” is better than “In final years.” Also write “waste sent to landfill” and “burning became” for clear meaning.
task response
You cover all three methods and give figures for each year or key years.
task response
You give a useful overview of the main changes: landfill and sea dumping fell, while burning rose.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraphs are well organised, and the reader can follow the report easily.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as “Overall,” “Meanwhile,” and “As for” well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: