IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Social media is a good thing for modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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There is no denying the fact that social media plays a pivotal role in our lives.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that in modern society social media is important, there
ia
Correct your spelling
is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
To begin
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 with, with the
ear
Use the right word
advent
show examples
 of technology, social media provides people to eccess to any thing that they want.
This
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 is because help individuals to reach

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task response
Your main view is not finished. After “In my opinion, I consider that”, clearly say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
task response
The essay is too short and stops in the middle of an idea. Write a full answer with an introduction, two main parts, and a short ending.
task response
Explain why social media is good or bad with clear reasons. For example, it can help people talk to family far away, but it can also take too much time.
task response
Add real and clear examples. For example, students can use social media to find study videos, or small shops can use it to tell people about their work.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear plan: first give your view, then write one reason in each main part, and end by saying your view again.
coherence and cohesion
Finish each sentence and each idea before you start a new one. Your last sentence ends at “This is because help individuals to reach”, so the reader cannot understand the point.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to show the order of ideas: “First”, “Also”, “However”, “For example”, and “In the end”.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main part about one idea only. Start with a main sentence, explain it, and then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and word form because they can make your ideas hard to follow. For example, use “age of technology”, “access”, “anything”, and “is”.
task response
You started by showing that there are two views about social media. This is a good way to begin this kind of question.
coherence and cohesion
You used “To begin with”, which helps the reader see the start of your first main idea.
task response
You chose a useful idea: social media can help people get information. This can become a strong main point if you explain it fully.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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