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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph shows the number of people visited on university website and searched two sites in last 15 hours. Summarize the chart and comapre if require.

6.5 / 9
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The provided bar chart data indicates the
figure
Check wording
number
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 of individuals who browsed on
Correct article usage
the university
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university
Check wording
university's
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 internet portal system and explored two or more
web
Use synonyms
 pages
during in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 15 hours in 2014 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it must be highlighted from the given bar graph that the most used
site
Use synonyms
 from
university’s
Correct article usage
the university’s
show examples
web
Use synonyms
 page among the students was one internet window in 2014,
meantime
Rephrase
meanwhile
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 the lowest search
between
Change preposition
among
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 students was recorded in 2014 with five
sites
Use synonyms
. It might be mentioned that the proportion of
web
Use synonyms
 users of university
web
Use synonyms
domain
Check wording
domains
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 in 2014 to 2015 for non-visitors of any
sites
Use synonyms
 and users
only
Correct pronoun usage
who only
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one
Verb problem
used one
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Use synonyms
web
Correct your spelling
website
site
Use synonyms
 experienced
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 from 22% to 21% and from 36% to 28%. It should be highlighted that the percentage of people who used multiple network systems from the university
site
Use synonyms
 observed
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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during
Change preposition
from
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 2014 to 2015.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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 two
Use synonyms
sites
Check wording
sites'
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 explorers surged from 23% to 24%.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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this
Linking Words
 figure for three
site
Use synonyms
 attenders rises from 12% to 16% respectively.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the number of students who used four and five
sites
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
grew from 5% to 8% and from 2% to 4%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words web, site, sites with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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