IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the news has no connection to people’s lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
These days,
news
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 updated every minute through televisions, mobile phones, or traditional newspapers and magazines. Some people choose to read them all to catch up with every event happening around the globe,
while
Linking Words
 others choose to ignore them, considering it a waste of
time
Use synonyms
. I agree that there are many irrelevant
news
Use synonyms
 these days;
however
Linking Words
, I still think that everyone should spend
time
Use synonyms
 keeping track of the world’s developments.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, I believe most
news
Use synonyms
 nowadays is written about unnecessary topics and clickbait headlines, which are created to aim for grabbing readers’ attention.
This
Linking Words
 kind of article is probably a waste of
time
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it tends to focus on Hollywood celebrities’ lives, showbiz scandals, and personal dramas all over the world. Spending
time
Use synonyms
 on these articles is
such
Linking Words
 a needless activity
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because it does not develop an individual’s perception of the surrounding world.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is
news
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 relevant to our everyday life.
For instance
Linking Words
, reading articles about discussions on newly established policies and
news
Use synonyms
 on academic fields like education, politics,
national
Correct word choice
and national
show examples
 economy are topics that can deeply contribute to our quality of life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having a wide perspective on society’s flow can help people make informed decisions, rather than being ignorant and making blind choices, which can strongly affect their lives. A popular example of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is back in 2020, when COVID-19 disease started to spread all over the world;
news
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 updated frequently, and it helped people to prepare groceries during the pandemic.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
news
Use synonyms
that
Check wording
articles that
show examples
 are not worth the
time
Use synonyms
 to read, I do believe that there are still crucial articles that we should notice to be informed about the world’s trends.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your main view is clear: some news is a waste of time, but useful news matters. To make the answer even stronger, say more clearly how far you agree in the first paragraph, for example: “I partly agree, but news about health, law, and money is important.”
task response
Your ideas are on topic and well explained. Add one more real way useful news can help people, such as news about bad weather, work, school, or changes in law.
task response
The COVID-19 example is useful. Make it more exact: news helped people learn about safety rules, get food, and know when to stay at home. This shows the link between news and daily life more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, news that is not useful, news that is useful, and conclusion. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links inside the first main paragraph. The sentence “This kind of article is probably a waste of time, it tends...” joins two full ideas with only a comma. Split it into two sentences, or use “because.”
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas can flow more smoothly with simple link words. For example, use “However” before the useful-news paragraph, and use “For this reason” before the point about making better choices.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion repeats your view well. It could be a little more direct by saying that people should choose useful news instead of reading all news.
task response
You answer the full question and give a clear view from the start to the end.
task response
You use relevant examples of news about health, school, politics, money, and COVID-19.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph has one clear purpose, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and final paragraph clearly show the main point of your essay.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: