Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

6.0 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Purchasing goods through online marketplaces,
such
Linking Words
as books,
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
tickets and daily necessities, has grown significantly in popularity.
This
Linking Words
undoubtedly provides numerous benefits to the
customers
Use synonyms
, but they need to be more selective and have cashless payment options. I believe the advantages for
customers
Use synonyms
would be greater than the disadvantages of using online platforms to buy goods.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine both aspects in detail.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, buying products through online marketplaces is really effective and
minimizes
Change the spelling
minimises
show examples
time
Use synonyms
consumption for
customers
Use synonyms
, who only need to hold their smartphones or laptops
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
open digital platforms
such
Linking Words
as Amazon, Alibaba and Carousell.
This
Linking Words
allows
customers
Use synonyms
to save commuting
time
Use synonyms
, avoid traffic congestion on the roads and shop more cost-effectively compared to visiting physical stores.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are able to compare prices, specifications and
delivery
Use synonyms
times prior to checking out their shopping carts, which helps them to secure the best deal.
For example
Linking Words
, if
customers
Use synonyms
buy a shirt, they can compare the price and
delivery
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
across different vendors. They are able to choose the cheapest one,
while
Linking Words
it has the longest
delivery
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, as long as it is suitable for their preferences.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, consumers are
also
Linking Words
exposed to negative risks of the product quality. They cannot visually check the condition of the products prior to
delivery
Use synonyms
, which quite often leads to a dispute with the sellers. If
such
Linking Words
a case occurs, consumers need more
time
Use synonyms
to return the items and wait for the replacement.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most payment methods are only available digitally or via cashless systems.
Customers
Use synonyms
must have credit cards or other digital wallets to support transactions, which would be challenging for
people
Use synonyms
from rural areas.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe the benefits of online digital platforms will be far greater than their drawbacks.
People
Use synonyms
can save more
time
Use synonyms
, and they have more alternative stores to compare with.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
need to be mindful of the product quality and the availability of payment methods.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
You answer the main question clearly and give your view in the first and last parts. To make your answer stronger, explain more fully why saving time and having more choice are more important than the problems with returns and payment.
Task response
Some ideas need more care. Online shopping does not always cost less than shops, because of delivery fees. Also, cashless payment is not a problem for all users. Give a more direct link between each point and your main view.
Task response
Your shirt example is useful, but it is quite small. Add one clear real-life effect, such as how online ticket sales help people in places far from airports or travel shops.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, good points, bad points, and conclusion. Keep this strong plan.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, instead of starting a new sentence with “This allows”, name the subject again: “Online shopping allows customers to save travel time.” This makes the meaning easier to follow.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea. In the first body part, time saving, lower cost, and price checks are all good, but explain how they connect before moving to the example.
Coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “customers” and “people” too often. You can use “buyers”, “users”, or “they” when the meaning is clear.
Task response
You give a clear answer that the good points are stronger than the bad points, and you discuss both sides of the topic.
Task response
You use relevant points, such as saving travel time, checking prices, product quality, returns, and payment access.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion match well, so the reader can easily see your main view.
Coherence and cohesion
The paragraph order is easy to follow, and phrases such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, and “Furthermore” help guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: