IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Jay, hope
this
 letter finds you in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
radiant health and best of the spirits. I am writing
this
 letter with regard to a suggestion for you whether to start
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university or to find a job.
To begin
 with,I got to know that you have passed the central board exams and you are in dilemma about joining a college or work.
Firstly
,I am in favour of the job because you need some time to relax
as well as
 decide your career stream.
Moreover
,If you start an employment,you will get time to think and research about your future goals.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 you do not have to work more than 5-6 hours a day, you can get explore different courses for
further
 studies.
Besides
this
,you have to target the specific white collar job,which can not give you more workload and you will get enough time to work on yourself.
Furthermore
,you can apply for jobs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical stores, restaurants and as a receptionist.These are the areas,where they can hire students without prior experience. I hope you understand my opinion
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 matter.Please feel free to reach
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
out anytime for
further
 information. yours sincerely, Parthkumar
Submitted by pp6859 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to avoid minor grammatical errors such as missing articles (e.g., 'in a dilemma' instead of 'in dilemma') to improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea more clearly to make the letter more cohesive.
task achievement
Your letter responds thoroughly to the task, addressing the reasons for not enjoying college, the benefits of getting a job, and suitable job suggestions.
writing tone
Your tone is appropriate and friendly, which suits a letter to a friend seeking advice.
greeting and closing
You included a proper greeting and a suitable closing, which enhances the overall structure of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical nature
  • real-world experience
  • practical experience
  • professional network
  • financial independence
  • dynamic
  • on-the-job learning
  • creative industries
  • customer service
  • sectors
  • suitable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: