IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offenses are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, governments have imposed stringent
penalties
Use synonyms
 for
traffic
Use synonyms
 violations, as some believe
this
Linking Words
 is the most effective way to reduce
road
Use synonyms
 accidents.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that alternative measures,
such
Linking Words
 as driver
education
Use synonyms
 and improved infrastructure, would yield better results. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 strict punishments serve as a deterrent, a comprehensive approach that includes
education
Use synonyms
 and
road
Use synonyms
 development is the most effective way to enhance
traffic
Use synonyms
 safety. One compelling reason for enforcing harsh
penalties
Use synonyms
 is their deterrent effect. When drivers face severe consequences
such
Linking Words
 as heavy fines, license suspensions, or even imprisonment for reckless driving, they are less likely to engage in dangerous behaviour.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries with strict
penalties
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Sweden and Singapore, have witnessed significant reductions in
road
Use synonyms
 fatalities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
traffic
Use synonyms
 regulations help maintain order on roads by controlling speed limits and enforcing safety measures. Without stringent laws, reckless driving would become more prevalent, putting pedestrians and other motorists at risk.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that improving
road
Use synonyms
 safety requires a more preventive approach.
First,
Linking Words
comprehensive driver
education
Use synonyms
 programs instil responsible driving habits from an early stage, ensuring that motorists understand
traffic
Use synonyms
 laws and develop defensive driving skills.
For example
Linking Words
, Germany’s rigorous licensing process has contributed to one of the lowest accident rates in Europe.
Second,
Linking Words
investment in well-planned infrastructure,
such
Linking Words
 as better
road
Use synonyms
 signage, pedestrian crossings, and AI-based monitoring systems, can effectively prevent accidents. A well-maintained
road
Use synonyms
 network reduces
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion and minimizes the chances of collisions, making
penalties
Use synonyms
 less necessary. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 strict punishments are essential in maintaining
traffic
Use synonyms
 discipline, they should be complemented by preventive measures
such
Linking Words
 as driver
education
Use synonyms
 and infrastructure improvements. A balanced strategy that incorporates both enforcement and preventive initiatives will create a safer and more sustainable
road
Use synonyms
 environment for all.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is strong and effectively summarises your points. Ensure that all main points are evenly developed in each paragraph for better balance.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, consider providing even more varied examples to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a wider range of knowledge.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear perspective and effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear topic sentences and logical progression, which aids readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • strict punishments
  • driving offenses
  • traffic accidents
  • deterrent
  • penalties
  • driving privileges
  • heavy fines
  • reckless driving
  • responsible behaviors
  • distractions
  • adhering to traffic rules
  • education and awareness programs
  • road safety
  • safe driving practices
  • fear-driven approach
  • road infrastructure
  • traffic management systems
  • well-designed roads
  • clear signage
  • adequate lighting
  • public awareness campaigns
  • attitudes towards driving
  • initiatives
  • promote the message
What to do next:
Look at other essays: