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Writing Samples
Band 2

Some students travel abroad for one year before starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this? So next I will share photos and tell me what are mistskes

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Introduction
It is believed that some people think
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 overseas before commencing college is beneficial
Correct word choice
apply
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whereas
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,
others
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whereas others
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 believe it distracts
individual
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individuals
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 from their goal.
However
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, in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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paragraph
Add a comma
paragraph,
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this
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 essay will elucidate both pros and cons of going abroad.
Body paragraph 1
The advantages of traveling other country is it helps to relax
mind
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the mind
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.
As until
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Until
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 higher secondary
everyone
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, everyone
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 has pressure to choose a path which they want to follow as
career
Correct article usage
a career
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.
For example
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,
In
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in
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 India, most students were in
Body paragraph 2
a rat trap of clearing NEET competition exams like NEET for doctors.
Therefore
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, it is very advantageous for pupils to visit abroad before
securing graduation
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graduating
.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages of going abroad. Some students get distracted and forget about their career and studies by focusing on building a social atmosphere.
For example
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, in Mexico, students usually start skipping their classes and
sleep
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sleeping
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 during college under peer pressure.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 travelling abroad has disadvantages
yet
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, yet
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 some
it
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of it
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 is beneficial to get mental peace.

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task response
Answer both parts in the same depth. You give one good point for travel, but it is not fully explained. Add other clear good points, such as learning to live alone, seeing new ways of life, or gaining new skills.
task response
Make each main idea clear and then explain why it happens. For example, say how a year abroad can help a student feel less tired and make a better choice about future study.
task response
Your examples need to be more believable and closely linked to the point. The Mexico example is too general. Use a clear example of a student who spends too much time with friends and then finds it hard to return to study.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main paragraphs, and an end. Keep this plan, but make the first sentence of each main paragraph more direct: state the advantage or disadvantage first.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Use simple links such as “First,” “This is because,” “As a result,” and “However.” Do not use “whereas” and “however” together in the first sentence because the meaning is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph should sum up both sides and give a clear final view. At present, it mainly repeats the good side. State that travel can be helpful if students have a plan and enough money, but it can also delay study.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of taking a year abroad, so your answer stays on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because you use separate paragraphs for the good side and the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
You use helpful signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion,” which show the reader where the essay is going.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • take a gap year
  • travel abroad
  • gain independence
  • develop maturity
  • improve language skills
  • experience a different culture
  • broaden one's horizons
  • become more open-minded
  • make an informed decision
  • career path
  • work experience
  • volunteer work
  • strengthen a CV
  • cover travel expenses
  • manage a budget
  • lose study habits
  • return to education
  • adjust to academic life
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