Some people think that it is more important to plant trees in open areas of towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some
people
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believe that planting
trees
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in open areas of towns and
cities
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is more important than building additional housing. I partly agree with
this
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view because
trees
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provide important environmental and health benefits.
However
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, I
also
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believe that housing is essential for
people
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living in rapidly growing
cities
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.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason I agree with
this
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view is that planting more
trees
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or other types of vegetation helps to avoid
city
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from being covered in dust by generating oxygen.
People
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may not notice the source of oxygen which they breathe every seconds untill officials or business units start cutting
trees
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out of the norm. If
people
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can stand
such
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vandalism, they may obtain other benefits of
trees
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besides
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oxygen ,
such
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as shade fields in hot summer or a fascinating view of the
city
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.
For example
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, scientists researched the benefits of
trees
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and gardening in hospitals , and they came to the conclusion that
trees
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play a significant role to recovering of patient in equal to medicine. Based on
this
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research, it is strongly recommended to keep planting
trees
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in every part of the
city
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to support the health conditions of citizens. Someone may complain of downsides of
trees
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in the
cities
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as leaves falling in autumn or falling resulting in heavy storms onto cars or population , yet all of them are rare cases which are not worthy to convert
trees
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into buildings , which cause especially dust or noise within the
city
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Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, building more housing can
also
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be important, since the population of
cities
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is continuously increasing.
Although
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trees
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can provide cleaner air, shade, and attractive views,
people
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also
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need affordable and comfortable places to live. If governments use every open area for planting
trees
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, there may not be enough space for new houses, which could lead to overcrowding and higher housing prices.
For instance
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, there is a tendency for children, after growing up, to be independent and live alone, or for extended family members to need additional space to live.
A construction
Correct determiner usage
Construction
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companies try to build
house
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houses
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in
a conviniet
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convenient
places
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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play
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
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role in choosing
house
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houses
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by customers. In
this
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way, the government should give rights and support to house developers to build sufficient flats for citizens.
Therefore
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, the importance of housing should be recognised.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that planting
trees
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has considerable environmental and health advantages,
although
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there are issues with the pricing of a few housing units.

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task response
Your view is clear: you agree in part. Make the balance more exact by saying which need should come first when land is limited, and why.
task response
Develop the tree point with more care. Trees do not stop all dust by making oxygen. Say that they can clean the air, give shade, and make city life better.
task response
The hospital example supports your point, but it is too general. Explain how trees may help people feel calm and get well, or use a clear real city example.
task response
Your housing point is useful. Add a stronger link to the question: open land can be used for homes when there is a real lack of low-cost homes.
task response
Your last paragraph does not fully match your view. It talks about the price of only a few homes, but your essay says housing is needed. State your final balance in a direct way.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: opening, trees, housing, and ending. Keep this plan, but give each body paragraph one main point and a short final line that links back to your view.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and hold too many ideas. Split them into two or three short sentences so the reader can follow your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links more carefully. For example: 'First', 'Also', 'However', 'For this reason', and 'In the end'. Do not add links where the idea is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid unclear words such as 'such vandalism', 'out of the norm', and 'all of them'. Name the exact action or problem instead.
coherence and cohesion
Check the flow in the housing paragraph. The point about young people living alone is related, but explain clearly how it raises the need for more homes.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give a clear view from the start.
task response
You give useful reasons for trees, such as cleaner air, shade, and better health, and you also explain the need for homes.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan is easy to see, and the two body paragraphs deal with different sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples and cause-and-effect ideas, such as more people in cities leading to a need for more homes.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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