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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. Discuss both side and give your opinion

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Introduction
It is often claimed that
computers
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 have made
people
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’s lives easier because of their convenience,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that they have created more complexity and pressure by making
people
Use synonyms
 constantly accessible and enabling fraud to occur more frequently.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that their benefits outweigh these disadvantages.
Body paragraph 1
From one perspective,
computers
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 have removed traditional barriers, making
people
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 accessible almost at any time.
This
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 can negatively affect employees because managers may contact them outside working hours, increasing their workload and stress.
Furthermore
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,
computers
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 have made fraud more widespread through fake websites and online accounts, which can be difficult to distinguish from legitimate ones.
For example
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, fraudsters may create websites that imitate well-known businesses and persuade customers to enter their banking information, resulting in financial losses.
Nonetheless
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, I believe these concerns are outweighed by the advantages.
Body paragraph 2
From another perspective,
computers
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 allow
people
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 to perform numerous activities conveniently , regardless of time or location. Individuals can search for information and study without visiting a library, book trips and appointments, apply for jobs , and even work from home. They have
also
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 transformed shopping and business, allowing
people
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 to purchase products online or establish businesses without a physical store.
For instance
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, the Saudi website Salla enables small businesses to create online stores and sell their products or services from home, reducing the costs associated with opening a physical branch.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
computers
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 can increase stress by making
people
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 constantly reachable and can make fraud easier to conduct, I believe that their advantages are greater, as they allow
people
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 to complete a wide range of personal and professional activities more conveniently.

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task response
You discuss both views and give a clear view. To make your view stronger, explain more clearly why the good points are greater than the bad points. For example, say how people can limit work calls after work and how banks can help stop online fraud.
task response
Your ideas are clear and on topic. Add one more short point about how computers save time in daily life, such as paying bills or talking to family far away.
task response
Your examples fit well. The Salla example is useful, but explain in one more sentence how it helps both the seller and the buyer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: first one view, then the other view, then your final view. Keep this strong paragraph plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. In the first body paragraph, “Nonetheless” starts your own view before the next paragraph. It would be smoother to save your main view for the end of the second body paragraph or the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are long. Split them into two shorter sentences when you give a cause and a result. This will make the ideas easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check spacing before commas. For example, write “conveniently, regardless” and “jobs, and even” without a space before the comma.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both sides and give your own clear view.
task response
The fraud website example is clear and shows the real risk of computers well.
task response
The online store example is specific and helps show how computers can make work and shopping easier.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, so the reader can follow your points easily.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion match well and clearly show your main view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • efficient
  • save time
  • online shopping
  • pay bills
  • access information
  • remote work
  • communication
  • depend on
  • system failure
  • stressful
  • information overload
  • reply quickly
  • stay connected
  • balanced use
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