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Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.Do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
There is an argument that the working
week
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 should be shorter and employees should have longer weekends. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view because having more
time
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 off can improve workers’ family lives and reduce
work
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-related stress.
Body paragraph 1
One important benefit of a longer weekend is that working
parents
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 would have more
time
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 to spend with their families.
Due to
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 high living expenses, both
parents
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 in many households need to
work
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 full-
time
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 to support their
children
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.
As a result
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, they may have limited
time
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 together during the
week
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, particularly when their
children
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 attend school or childcare. Even at weekends,
parents
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 often have household chores and other responsibilities to complete. Having an additional day off could
therefore
Linking Words
 give families more opportunities to spend quality
time
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 together.
This
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 may strengthen relationships between
parents
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 and
children
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 and create a healthier
work
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-life balance.
Body paragraph 2
Another reason for supporting a shorter working
week
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 is that it could reduce stress among young workers and students. Many university students,
for example
Linking Words
, need to
work
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while
Linking Words
 studying in order to cover their living and educational expenses. Managing both responsibilities can be stressful and exhausting, especially when they have little
time
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 to rest. A longer weekend would allow them to recover from
work
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, focus on their studies and have some
time
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 for themselves.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they may experience less stress and return to
work
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 feeling more energetic and motivated.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that employees should have a shorter working
week
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 and a longer weekend. An additional day off could enable working
parents
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 to spend more
time
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 with their
children
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 and help workers and students achieve a healthier balance between their responsibilities and personal lives.

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task response
State your full view clearly, as you do here. To make it even stronger, add one short point about how shorter weeks can help the work place, such as better focus or less time off for stress.
task response
Your two main reasons are clear and well explained. Add one more real or clear example, such as a parent using the extra day for a child’s school event, or a student using it to finish study work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: view, first reason, second reason, and end. Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words well, such as “As a result”, “therefore”, and “Consequently”. You could use fewer of these in some places and let the ideas link in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats your main view and main reasons well. You could make it a little more direct by saying that a shorter week is good for both home life and worker health.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear view from the start to the end.
task response
The points about family time and stress are relevant and are explained with clear causes and results.
coherence and cohesion
The paragraph plan is strong. The reader can follow your ideas without effort.
coherence and cohesion
The start of each main paragraph clearly shows what the paragraph will discuss.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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