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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that governments should provide free education for all citizens. Others think that education should not be free and that governments should spend money on other priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
There is an important debate nowadays in countries or many countries. Some individuals admit that
education
Use synonyms
 should be free of charge by the state.
Whereas
Linking Words
, a group of people advances
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 should be paid with public funds in lieu of using them
elsewhere
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.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 there are
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 on both sides, I believe other priorities are more beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some people argue that
education
Use synonyms
 is too costly so as to be completely free. Funding schools, universities,
administratives
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administration
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, and facilities cost billions of dollars every year, and they believe
this
Linking Words
 money could be better used for other infrastructures, healthcare,
national
Correct word choice
and national
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 defence. They
also
Linking Words
 indicate that when people pay for
education
Use synonyms
, they value
it
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it,
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whereas
Linking Words
 free
education
Use synonyms
 might be taken
granted
Change preposition
for granted
show examples
and
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, and
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 resources could be
waste
Wrong verb form
wasted
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 on students who are not
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters of free
education
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 put
foward
Correct your spelling
forward
 that it is a fundamental right and even a foundation of a successful country. If any chance it is free, children from poor
family
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families
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 will have the same opportunity to succeed as those from wealthy families.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 reduces social inequality in poverty.
In addition
Linking Words
, a more educated population leads to a stronger economy, lower crime rate and better innovation in
long
Add an article
the long
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 term. There are some countries which demonstrate that investing in free
education
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 produces
well trained
Correct your spelling
well-trained
 workers,
source
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a source
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 of benefits to the country.
Conclusion
In a
nushell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
,
while
Linking Words
 the cost is
significant
Correct word choice
high
show examples
, free
education
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 is worthwhile to spend money
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
 The advantages of reducing inequality and creating personal work
skilled
Replace the word
skills
 outweigh the
diasdvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. The state should
therefore
Linking Words
 provide
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 primary and secondary
education
Use synonyms
 free of charge for all residents.

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task response
You discuss both views and give your own view, so you answer all parts of the question. However, your view changes: the first paragraph says other needs are more useful, but the last paragraph says free education is worth the cost. Choose one clear view and keep it from the start to the end.
task response
Explain each main point more fully. For example, say why health care or roads may need more money, and explain how free school can help poor children get better jobs.
task response
Use a real, clear example for each side. You could mention a poor child who can stay in school because fees are not needed, or a country where schools need more money for hospitals or clean water.
coherence and cohesion
Your four-paragraph plan is clear: introduction, one side, the other side, and ending. Make the first sentence of each body paragraph show the main idea more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words such as “For example”, “As a result”, “However”, and “In addition”. Do not start a new sentence with “Which”; join it to the sentence before it.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending match your opinion. If you think free primary and secondary school should be given, say this clearly in the introduction too. If you think other needs should come first, keep that view in the ending.
coherence and cohesion
Check word order and sentence form so the reader can follow your ideas. For example, write “Some people believe education should be free” and “Others believe public money should be used for other needs.”
task response
You include both the cost of education and the good effects of free education, such as less poverty, more jobs, and less crime.
task response
Your final paragraph gives a clear plan: free primary and secondary education for all people.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall order, with separate paragraphs for each side of the debate.
coherence and cohesion
You use some useful linking words, such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “In addition”, and “therefore”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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