IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that governments should provide free education for all citizens. Others think that education should not be free and that governments should spend money on other priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

6.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
In many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 there is a debate about whether
education
Use synonyms
 should be provided free of charge by the state
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or whether it should be paid for, with public funds used
elsewhere
Linking Words
.
While
Linking Words
 there are arguments on both sides, I believe free
education
Use synonyms
 brings greater long-term benefits to society.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, some people argue that
education
Use synonyms
 is too expensive to be completely free. Funding schools, universities, teachers and facilities costs billions of dollars each year, and they believe
this
Linking Words
 money could be better used for other urgent priorities
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, infrastructure, or national defence. They
also
Linking Words
 argue that when people pay for
education
Use synonyms
, they value it more and take their studies more seriously,
whereas
Linking Words
 free
education
Use synonyms
 might be taken for granted
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 resources could be wasted on students who are not committed.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters of free
education
Use synonyms
 believe it is a fundamental right and the foundation of a successful country. If
education
Use synonyms
 is free, children from poor families have the same opportunity to succeed as children from wealthy families, which reduces social inequality and poverty.
In addition
Linking Words
, a more educated population leads to a stronger economy, lower crime rates and better innovation in the long term. Countries like Finland and Germany have demonstrated that investment in free
education
Use synonyms
 produces well-trained workers, which in turn benefits the entire nation and pays for itself through higher taxes.
Conclusion
In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 the cost is
significant
Correct word choice
high
show examples
, free
education
Use synonyms
 is a worthwhile investment. The benefits of reducing inequality and creating a skilled workforce far outweigh the disadvantages. Governments should
therefore
Linking Words
 provide at least primary and secondary
education
Use synonyms
 free of charge for all citizens.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer even stronger, explain more clearly why free education should stop at school level, not include all college study.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and well developed. Add one more real example of how free school can help a poor child, a family, or a town.
task response
The Finland and Germany example is useful, but be careful with the claim that free education “pays for itself”. Explain this link in a little more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part plan: opening, one side, the other side, and your view. Keep this strong shape in future writing.
coherence and cohesion
The linking words such as “On the one hand”, “On the other hand”, “In addition”, and “In my opinion” guide the reader well. You could also link the last line more closely to your earlier point about cost.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part stays on one main idea. For an even smoother flow, begin the final part by showing that you accept the cost point before explaining why the good results are more important.
task response
You answer every part of the question: you explain both views and clearly state your own view.
task response
Your ideas are relevant: cost, health care, equal chances, work, crime, and new ideas all fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow, and each part has a clear main point.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives a clear topic and view, and the last part gives a direct final answer.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: