IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Everyone of us should become vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A vast majority
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 should become
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 because eating
meat
Use synonyms
 can cause serious health issues. I totally disagree with the statement because vegetarian food and
non vegetarian
Correct your spelling
non-vegetarian
 food both have some merits.
However
Linking Words
,
non vegetarian
Correct your spelling
non-vegetarian
 food
such
Linking Words
 as
meat
Use synonyms
 soup, fish
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
which are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 useful for our health. One major reason why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view is that
meat
Use synonyms
 can provide several nutrients that support good health.
In particular
Linking Words
, it contains hight quality protein, vitamin B 12,
irons
Check wording
iron
show examples
, which are important for
muscles
Check wording
muscle
show examples
 development, oxygen transportation and
nervous
Add an article
the nervous
show examples
 system.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals who eat
meat
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can obtain these nutrients,
although
Linking Words
 they may
also
Linking Words
available
Verb problem
be available
show examples
 in green leafy vegetables.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people who are
vegetarian, people
Check wording
vegetarians
show examples
 should
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged
show examples
 to follow
balance
Replace the word
a balanced
 diet.

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task response
Your view is clear: you do not agree that all people should stop eating meat. However, the answer is too short and gives only one main reason. Add a second reason, such as how meat can be part of a healthy diet when people do not eat too much of it.
task response
Explain your points more fully. You say meat has protein, vitamin B12, and iron, but show how these help people. For example, protein helps build the body, iron helps the blood carry air, and vitamin B12 helps the brain and nerves.
task response
Your example is too general. Give a clear real-life example, such as a child, a sport player, or an older person who may need enough protein and iron in a balanced diet.
task response
Write a short final paragraph that repeats your main view. This will make your answer feel complete.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clear four-part plan: introduce your view, give your first reason, give your second reason, and end with your final view.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not complete or are hard to follow. For example, change “However, non vegetarian food such as meat soup, fish which are useful for our health” to “However, non-vegetarian foods, such as meat and fish, can be good for health.”
coherence and cohesion
Do not repeat “people who are vegetarian, people should”. Say “Vegetarians should also eat a balanced diet.”
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. “However” should show a clear opposite idea. You can use “First”, “Also”, “For example”, and “Therefore” to guide the reader.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you disagree.
task response
You give a useful main point about nutrients in meat, including protein, iron, and vitamin B12.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and one body paragraph, so the reader can see your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words such as “In particular”, “For example”, and “Therefore”.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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