IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write a letter to your friend who lives in another country and in your letter: 1) invite him/her to a public event in your country. 2) Describe the public event. 3) Explain about other plans you have for your friend when he/she will visit.

7.5 / 9
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Dear Ali, I’m writing to invite you to a public
event
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 in my country, Eyd Nowruz, which can provide us with ideal conditions to spend quality time together through various traditional ceremonies and review our memories during university years. The public
event
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 is annually held on March 21 to celebrate the start of the new year in my country, Iran. In
this
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event
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, people meet their family members and friends, and participate in various outdoor activities,
such
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 as traditional festivals, exploring nature, and travelling. The public
event
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also
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 symbolises the strong sense of freshness, making people more energetic and relaxed. I would like to take you to my hometown, Osku, which is famous for its outstanding landscapes and vibrant people.
This
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 can enable us to spend some time in natural beauty and enjoy the fresh air and pleasing weather.
In addition
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, we can
also
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 go to Kandovan, a small village located in the southern part of the city, to stay in its carved homes into stone for two or three days. I hope to accept my invitation, and I will see you as soon as possible. Take care, Mohammadreza

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task response
Make the invite more clear by saying when you want Ali to come and asking him to tell you if he can come.
task response
Use the name of the event in a more natural way. For example, say “Nowruz, the Iranian New Year” rather than “Eyd Nowruz” as a public event.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: invite, explain the event, then talk about other plans. Add simple links such as “First”, “Also”, and “Finally” to make the ideas flow even better.
coherence and cohesion
The last part has two travel ideas. You could make each plan clearer by saying what you will do in Osku first, then what you will do in Kandovan.
task response
You answer all parts of the task: you invite your friend, explain Nowruz, and give plans for the visit.
coherence and cohesion
The letter is easy to follow, with one main topic in each paragraph. The greeting and ending are friendly and suitable for a friend.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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