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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that historic buildings should be restored and preserved, while others think it is better to demolish them and use the land for modern development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 should be preserved or demolished to make way for modern development.
While
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 some people believe that old
buildings
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 should be protected, others argue that replacing them with modern facilities is more practical. In my opinion, important historic
buildings
Use synonyms
 should be preserved,
while
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 unsafe or extremely expensive ones may need to be replaced.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, supporters of demolishing historic
buildings
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 argue that maintaining them can be expensive and requires ongoing financial investment.
This
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 is mainly because old
buildings
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 often need regular repairs to remain safe and attractive. If proper maintenance is neglected, these
buildings
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 may become dirty and poorly managed, negatively affecting the country's reputation.
For example
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, tourists may feel dissatisfied when they visit historical sites that are littered or poorly maintained.
As a result
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,
this
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 can discourage visitors from returning and harm the tourism industry.
Therefore
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, demolishing some old
buildings
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 can be a practical solution.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, supporters of preservation argue that historic
buildings
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 represent a country's culture and history. The main reason is that these
buildings
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 can attract tourists and help future generations understand their heritage.
For instance
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, the Sydney Opera House attracts visitors from around the world, supporting local businesses and creating employment opportunities.
Furthermore
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, growing cities need more homes, schools, and workplaces.
However
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, governments can build these facilities in suitable locations
while
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 protecting important historical landmarks.
Consequently
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, cities can develop without losing their cultural identity.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 demolishing old
buildings
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 can reduce maintenance costs and provide space for modern facilities, I believe that historically important
buildings
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 should be preserved. Governments should balance urban development with cultural protection and replace only those
buildings
Use synonyms
 that are unsafe or impractical to restore.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view clearly. To make your view even stronger, explain more fully how a government can decide which old buildings must stay and which can be pulled down.
task response
The first main point is clear: old buildings can cost a lot to keep. However, the point about a country's name and tourists is not fully linked to the need to pull buildings down. Explain why repair is not possible in some cases, or use space and safety as the main reason.
task response
Your example of the Sydney Opera House supports the idea that famous places can bring in visitors and jobs. Add one more clear example of an old building that is unsafe or too costly to fix, so both sides have equal support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and conclusion. This makes it easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear links between ideas, as you already do with 'For example', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently'. Try not to use too many result links in one paragraph. Make sure each link shows the exact connection between the two ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The second body paragraph moves from tourism to the need for homes, schools, and workplaces. Add a short link such as 'This does not mean that all city growth must stop' before this change, so the flow is smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion repeats your main view well. You could make it more direct by saying that historic value, public safety, repair cost, and the need for land should all be checked before a choice is made.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and clearly state that important historic buildings should stay.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and easy to understand, especially the value of history, tourism, jobs, cost, safety, and new public spaces.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, and the introduction and conclusion clearly show your position.
coherence and cohesion
You use examples and linking words to guide the reader through your ideas.
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