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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that historic buildings should be demolished to make way for modern development, while others think they should be preserved. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
Whether historic
buildings
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 should be preserved or demolished for modern development is a subject of considerable debate.
While
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 some people argue that old
buildings
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 should be replaced with modern facilities, others believe they should be protected.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why I agree with
preservation
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, supporters of demolishing historic
buildings
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 argue that modern development is more practical.
This
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 is mainly because cities need more land for housing, roads and workplaces as their populations grow.
For example
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, replacing old
buildings
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 with modern apartment complexes can provide accommodation for many families.
As a result
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, cities can reduce housing shortages and improve living standards.
Therefore
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, it is understandable why many people believe that demolishing outdated structures is necessary.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, supporters of preserving historic
buildings
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 argue that they protect cultural heritage. The main reason is that these structures help future generations understand their history and traditions.
For example
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, the Taj Mahal in India attracts tourists because of its historical significance and beautiful architecture.
Consequently
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, local shops, restaurants and hotels can benefit from increased tourism.
Furthermore
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, historic
buildings
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 can educate children about the past and strengthen their cultural identity.
Although
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preservation
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 can be expensive, I tend to agree that these structures should be protected because their historical value cannot easily be replaced.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both demolition and
preservation
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 have their own merits.
However
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, I believe
preservation
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 is more convincing because it protects cultural heritage and benefits future generations. Ultimately, carefully planned development can provide modern facilities
while
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 preserving important historical landmarks.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your view stronger, explain more about when old places should be kept and when change may be needed.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points could go deeper. For example, say why new homes cannot always be built in other areas, or how old places can be used in new ways.
task response
The Taj Mahal is a good example. Add one more clear example for the other side, such as an old unsafe building in a busy city.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: start, one side, the other side, and end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words are used well. Try not to use the same pattern in each paragraph. You can also link ideas by using words such as "this", "these", and "such places".
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence gives a useful middle way. You could make this idea part of the main body too, so the end feels more fully prepared.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show both views and clearly say that you support keeping important old buildings.
task response
Your reasons are relevant: new homes and work space support change, while history, tourism, and learning support keeping old places.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea and clear support, so the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence and cohesion
The start clearly tells the reader what the essay will do, and the end repeats your view in a clear way.
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