Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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Nowadays,

music

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is becoming more popular with different sounds, languages, and tones.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that tones gather

people

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from various cultures and ages, there is

also

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an argument that opposes

this

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. In my respective, I firmly agree with

this

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statement and I will express the reasons.

To begin

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with, lyrics transmit a lot of meaning and emotion.

Furthermore

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, it is considered a social meme and a traditional culture to play

music

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at all events

such

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as marriage, graduate parties, new years, and birthday parties. To illustrate, during the wedding rituals, the bride and groom rely on songs to express their happiness and bring their relatives and friends together to enjoy.

In addition

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, a variety of chords evoke strong feelings and memories,

therefore

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, parents tend to sing for kids before sleep. Another point to consider is that all regions preserve their shanties and dirges as cultural heritage handed down for hundreds of years.

Thus

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, the international anthem represents one of the crucial songs for all countries.

For instance

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

formal situations

such

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as army ceremonies start with international

music

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to welcome the king, queen, and

people

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Also

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, on

this

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day all nations gather in one place and they all sing,

this

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is why

music

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is important to assemble individuals.

To sum up

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, despite

people

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having different views. On balance, I tend to believe that

music

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is the best approach to the fabric of society, spreading cheerfulness, and unifying

people

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from different ages and cultures. And with all festivals, the organizers begin with chords to attract commune.

fno0o.331Thu Jan 23 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity in idea presentation and paragraph connection by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between ideas.

task achievement

Develop examples further to illustrate points more comprehensively.

task achievement

Avoid using phrases such as 'in my respective,' and consider using 'from my perspective' instead.

language

Proofread to correct minor language errors and improve overall fluency.

task achievement

Your essay clearly agrees with the prompt and provides multiple points supporting this view, establishing a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your discussion, reiterating your main position.

task achievement

The essay successfully emphasizes the emotional impact of music, a key point well-explored in your argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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