IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
Nowadays,
companies
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 consider different factors when recruiting new
employees
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.
While
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 some employers prefer candidates who are innovative and capable of working independently, others tend to hire people who can collaborate effectively with others and follow instructions. In my opinion,
companies
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 should recruit
employees
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 who possess a combination of both qualities.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, hiring creative
employees
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 can bring several benefits to
companies
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. Innovation is a key driver of growth, and individuals who can think outside the box play a crucial role in developing unique ideas, improving existing processes, and contributing to long-term progress.
For example
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, marketers may create viral social media campaigns based on current trends, making products more widely recognised.
In addition
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,
employees
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 who can
work
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 independently reduce the burden on their colleagues because they do not require close supervision from senior staff and are able to complete tasks on time by themselves.
As a result
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,
this
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 can improve
overall
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 company productivity and efficiency.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the ability to
work
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 well in a team and follow instructions is equally important. Some organisations prefer
employees
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 with strong interpersonal skills because large-scale projects often require cooperation between different departments to achieve a common goal.
For instance
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, when organising an event, the marketing team, finance department, and event planners must
work
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 closely together and follow a clear plan to ensure everything runs smoothly.
Furthermore
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, following instructions helps maintain consistency and reduce errors in workplaces
such
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 as factories and industrial settings.
Therefore
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, teamwork and discipline are
also
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 essential for a company’s success.
Conclusion
In my opinion,
companies
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 should strike a balance between both qualities because they are equally valuable. Some positions require
employees
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 who can
work
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 independently,
while
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 others demand strong teamwork skills.
As a result
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, recruiting people with both abilities allows
companies
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 to operate more effectively.

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task response
Your view is clear: a mix of both types of worker is best. To make it stronger, say more clearly why this mix is better for most firms, not only that different jobs need different skills.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained. Add one more real work case in the last part, such as a team leader who must follow the plan but also solve a new problem alone.
task response
The examples fit the topic. The event example is clear, but it could show more clearly how following orders helps the team meet its goal.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part shape: opening, first view, second view, and your view. Keep this same clear order in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part stays on one point and uses linking words well. You can use fewer repeated links such as “As a result” and “Therefore” by joining some ideas in one longer sentence.
coherence and cohesion
The last part is clear but short. Add a final sentence that sums up your view, for example: firms should look for people who can share ideas, work with others, and act alone when needed.
task response
You discuss both views fairly and give your own view from the start.
task response
Your points are useful and fit the work setting, such as new ideas in marketing and care in factory work.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a clear order, and each part has a main point with an example or reason.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will cover, and the final part returns to your main view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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