In some countries, people are choosing to get medical advice and treatment online instead of visiting a doctor in person. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
It is increasingly common for patients to describe their symptoms to a doctor through a video call or an app rather than visiting a clinic.
While
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I accept that remote consultations carry real risks, I believe that their benefits clearly outweigh their drawbacks because they widen access to care and free hospitals for those who truly need them.
Body paragraph 1
Admittedly, the main disadvantage is that a screen hides a great deal. A physician cannot press on a swollen abdomen, listen to a chest or notice that a patient looks paler than usual, so serious conditions may be missed. In Kuwait,
for instance
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, a man who complained online of mild stomach pain was given tablets for indigestion, and his appendix burst two days later. A second limit of the same method is that elderly people and those with poor internet access are often excluded altogether.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
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, the advantages are far greater for the majority of cases. The most important thing is the speed of access. A working mother in a village two hours from the nearest hospital can obtain a prescription for her child's ear infection within twenty minutes
instead
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of losing a day, and the child begins treatment the same evening. Closely linked to
this
Linking Words
is the relief for the health system itself. When the Moroccan Ministry of Health introduced telephone consultations for routine follow-ups in 2023,
for example
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, waiting times in Rabat clinics fell by roughly a quarter because minor cases no longer filled the corridors.
Moreover
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, the risks above can be managed if platforms are required to refer any worrying symptoms to a physical examination. In my view,
therefore
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, online care should be the first door, not the only one.
Conclusion
In conclusion, virtual medicine cannot replace the doctor's hands, yet it delivers help faster. On balance, its advantages are decisive.

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task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same view from start to end. To make the case even stronger, explain more fully why online care is best for simple or follow-up care, but not for urgent or hard cases.
task response
Your examples fit your main ideas well. Make sure that facts, names, and numbers are true and can be checked. If not, use a general example, such as a parent who lives far from a clinic.
task response
The idea that online care should be the first door, not the only one, is very good. Add one short line on how a doctor can move a patient from an online call to a clinic visit when needed.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: opening, one paragraph on bad points, one on good points, and a short ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use fewer linking words in a row. For example, “Closely linked to this” and “Moreover” are clear, but the ideas can also flow through the order of your points.
coherence and cohesion
The first body paragraph has two bad points. Give each point a little more space, or use a clearer link between them, so the change from missed illness to poor internet access feels smoother.
task response
Your main view is clear: the good points are stronger than the bad points. You also deal with both sides of the question.
task response
You give clear reasons for your view: faster help, wider care for people far from hospitals, and less pressure on clinics.
coherence and cohesion
The opening states the topic and your view in a direct way. The ending returns to the same view without adding new ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Each main paragraph starts with a clear point, and the examples are placed after the point they support.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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