It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

It is argued that it is crucial for both professional

lives

and personal

lives

to undertake

risks

This

essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of taking

risks

However

, I would argue that undertaking

risks

may offer valuable benefits for

people

. First and foremost,

people

tend to challenge themselves to engage in the risk.

For example

, relocating to abroad for employment. When

people

move to a new place, there are several challenges, they will encounter during that period. Loneliness and homesickness

in particular

will appear and suffer them, especially Asian

people

moving to European countries to pursue their career. Most

people

are falling apart because of languages, food, and lifestyles and some will be returning to their home countries

due to

the tough situation that they have met.

This

failure can lead

people

to reach their full potential.

On the other hand

, despite the fact that

risks

carry significant drawbacks, one of the primary benefits is career advancement. Moving to urban cities,

for instance

, allows

people

to access a wide range of career opportunities and high salaries. These benefits can enhance their living standard and support their family's finances.

Furthermore

, taking

risks

may boost an individual’s mental resilience since they face a lot of obstacles at the same time. In conclusion,

while

it is true that undertaking risk can cause negative impacts on mentality,

however

, it is paramount. Individuals can have better jobs and higher incomes to improve their personal

lives

and professional

lives

as well as

mental resilience.

Submitted by Date on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Using more transitional phrases would enhance the flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is fully developed and clearly supported with specific examples and explanations.

task achievement

The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay, including an introduction, main body, and conclusion is clear and logical.

task achievement

The essay uses relevant examples to illustrate the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Organised tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is this a positive or negative development for the local people and the local environment?