It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is argued that it is crucial for both professional
lives
and personal
lives
to undertake
risks
.
This
essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of taking
risks
.
However
, I would argue that undertaking
risks
may offer valuable benefits for
people
. First and foremost,
people
tend to challenge themselves to engage in the risk.
For example
, relocating to abroad for employment. When
people
move to a new place, there are several challenges, they will encounter during that period. Loneliness and homesickness
in particular
will appear and suffer them, especially Asian
people
moving to European countries to pursue their career. Most
people
are falling apart because of languages, food, and lifestyles and some will be returning to their home countries
due to
the tough situation that they have met.
This
failure can lead
people
to reach their full potential.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that
risks
carry significant drawbacks, one of the primary benefits is career advancement. Moving to urban cities,
for instance
, allows
people
to access a wide range of career opportunities and high salaries. These benefits can enhance their living standard and support their family's finances.
Furthermore
, taking
risks
may boost an individual’s mental resilience since they face a lot of obstacles at the same time. In conclusion,
while
it is true that undertaking risk can cause negative impacts on mentality,
however
, it is paramount. Individuals can have better jobs and higher incomes to improve their personal
lives
and professional
lives
,
as well as
mental resilience.
Submitted by Date on

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Using more transitional phrases would enhance the flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and clearly supported with specific examples and explanations.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, offering a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, including an introduction, main body, and conclusion is clear and logical.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant examples to illustrate the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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