IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree

7.5 / 9
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Introduction
It is often argued that all
vehicles
Use synonyms
 powered by fossil fuels should be banned and replaced with electric cars.
Although
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 petrol and diesel
vehicles
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 have a significant negative impact on the environment, I strongly disagree that they should be completely prohibited, as the transition to electric
vehicles
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 requires careful planning and substantial investment.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, fossil-fuel-powered
vehicles
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 remain popular worldwide because of their well-established technology and relatively straightforward maintenance requirements. Most mechanics and technicians are familiar with the operation and repair of conventional engines.
In contrast
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, electric
vehicles
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 rely on advanced battery systems and sophisticated electronic components, which require specialised knowledge and technical expertise.
For instance
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, repairing an electric vehicle can be more expensive and time-consuming if qualified technicians and suitable repair facilities are not readily available.
Therefore
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, immediately banning conventional
vehicles
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 could create significant difficulties for vehicle owners and the automotive repair industry.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, governments must establish an adequate charging infrastructure before considering a complete transition to electric
vehicles
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. In many developing countries, charging stations are not sufficiently available, particularly in rural areas and along major highways.
Consequently
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, drivers may experience considerable difficulties when travelling long distances.
Furthermore
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, establishing a nationwide charging network would require substantial financial investment, which could place additional pressure on government budgets. Another concern is the replacement and disposal of electric vehicle batteries. These batteries can be expensive to replace, and their improper disposal may cause environmental pollution
due to
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 the presence of hazardous materials and the environmental impact of battery production and recycling.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly disagree with an immediate ban on fossil-fuel-powered
vehicles
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 because of the shortage of specialised technicians, inadequate charging infrastructure and concerns regarding battery costs and disposal.
Instead
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, governments should gradually encourage the adoption of electric
vehicles
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while
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 developing the necessary infrastructure and technical capabilities.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start, and you keep the same view in the whole essay. To make it even stronger, explain more fully why a slow change is better than a full ban. You could also say that old cars could be used less over time, rather than stopped at once.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: repair needs, charge points, cost, and battery waste. The point about battery waste is useful, but it could be linked more closely to the main question. Explain that electric cars may not be fully green if batteries are made or thrown away in a bad way.
task response
The example about repair work is relevant, but it is quite general. Add one short real-life example, such as a driver in a small town who cannot find a trained repair worker or a place to charge the car.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. Each body part has one main focus. Keep using this simple plan in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences hold many ideas at once, especially in the second body part. Split them into shorter sentences so the reader can follow your point more easily. For example, discuss charge points first, then costs, then batteries in a new part or with a clearer link.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as 'Firstly', 'In contrast', 'Consequently', and 'Furthermore', work well. However, do not rely only on these words. Repeat key ideas in a natural way, such as 'this lack of charge points' or 'this repair problem', to make links even clearer.
task response
You answer the question directly and clearly state that you do not support a full and sudden ban.
task response
Your reasons are relevant and well explained, especially the lack of trained workers and charge points.
coherence and cohesion
The opening and ending match well. The conclusion repeats your main view and gives a clear next step for governments.
coherence and cohesion
Paragraphs are well planned, and each one develops one clear group of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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