IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Nowadays
television
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 has become very important for most of the
people
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.
Television
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 is one of the most attractive scientific technology for
people
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, many
people
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 have
h
Add an article
a
the
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abit of watching only
television
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 in their spare
time
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.
Although
Linking Words
,
people
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 have lots of work to do in their free
time
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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due to dramas and programs
people
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 ignore their other activities. I
am agree
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agree
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will share my views related to
this
Linking Words
. Most of the
people
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includes
Change the verb form
include
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 watching
television
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 in their hobby, they think that it is useful for them. Undoubtedly
television
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 is good for entertainment, but it necessary to watch it within a limit. Most of the
people
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 watch
television
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 in front of their children, so definitely children
also
Linking Words
 want it to watch and because of
this
Linking Words
 they cannot concentrate on their studies properly. On another hand, watching
television
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 have lots of negative effects on our social lives.
For example
Linking Words
, a family having lunch or dinner together and all are watching
television
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, so at that
time
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 it is good to discuss or share their thoughts rather than watching
television
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 because they should realize
it
Correct your spelling
is
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 that it is
v
Add an article
a
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ery important moment for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most of the
people
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 are busy due to job and after coming back to
h
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ome they are habitual of watching
television
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, they not give
time
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 to their family and
also
Linking Words
 avoid to meet their friends and relatives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if there is
w
Add an article
a
the
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eekend or holiday
people
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 at that
time
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 like to stay at home and not have
i
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an
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nterest to socialize with their friends, due to which relationships gets weak. Many of the
people
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 have awareness about the negative impact of
the
Remove the article
apply
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watching
television
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 on our health. It
Replace the word
affects
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effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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 our eyes, mind and body. Many doctors
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that, watching too much
television
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 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 on our cardiovascular system and
people
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 those are habitual for sitting in front of
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t
Add an article
the
a
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elevision for
l
Add an article
a
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onger
time
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 can
also
Linking Words
 gain weight and due to
this
Linking Words
 the have to suffer
with
Change the preposition
from
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 the problems that
occurs
Change the verb form
occur
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 due to obesity. In conclusion,
people
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 should have to adapt activities that are good for their health and whenever possible it is good to socialize with friends and relatives. Watching
television
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 will only make
people
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 inactive and will develop
l
Add an article
a
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ack of interest in other useful activities

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social isolation
  • Cognitive engagement
  • Critical thinking skills
  • Behavioral problems
  • Academic performance
  • Educational programs
  • Documentaries
  • Informative news
  • Relaxation
  • Stress relief
  • Mental well-being
  • Virtual socialization
  • Health issues
  • Obesity
  • Cardiovascular diseases
  • Physical fitness
  • Community events
  • Shared learning experiences
  • Temporary escape
What to do next:
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