In many countries an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television in computer and video games. Ton what extent do yo agree or disagree with this view?

#countries #crime #images #television #computer #video #games #ton #yo

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It is hard to deny that there are some violent

images

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on television

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show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

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and

video

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in video

show examples

games, and

such

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a fact leads impressionable people to generate the opinion that the increase in

crime

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due to

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those

images

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However

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such

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a statement suffers from both logical and factual fallacies, and it should be examined meticulously. As far as

education

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and regulation, I strongly hold that there is no direct relation between these

images

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and the rise in

crime

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. First and foremost,

education

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is the foundation to prevent people from committing crimes. To be specific, the family environment has a primary influence on the development of

minors

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personalities

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, including a good influence on the formation of sound

personalities

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, bad

personalities

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and even criminal

personalities

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. Family

education

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is the basis for the growth of

minors

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, and poor family

education

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is one of the reasons for teenagers to commit crimes.

School

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education

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also

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an important place to prevent juvenile delinquency. Factors

such

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as unreasonable

education

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structure, deviation from quality

education

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education

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practice, low quality of teachers, defects in

school

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management and disconnection of

education

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inside and outside

school

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often lead to students' absenteeism, truancy and weariness, which increase the risk of juvenile

crime

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According to

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the survey, 74.2 per cent of juvenile offenders have dropped out of

school

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‌ before committing a

crime

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Furthermore

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, Lack of legal

knowledge

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is a potential factor in

crime

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. Take the case of studies from a top-notch university. Studies have pointed out that quite a few college students, especially those who study illegally, lack basic legal

knowledge

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In addition

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to learning basic legal

knowledge

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in class, they rarely have access to other legal

knowledge

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, which leads them to be unable to accurately judge whether their behaviour constitutes a

crime

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‌ when facing legal problems.

In addition

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, if

minors

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lack legal awareness, they may embark on the road of breaking the law because of ignorance of the law.

For example

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, some

minors

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may go astray and participate in illegal activities ‌because of their ignorance of the law. In conclusion, violent

images

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are not associated with

crime

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. We need to get to the bottom of what's causing the

crime

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Submitted by 2631272260 on Mon Aug 19 2024

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task response

Ensure your introduction precisely articulates your stance on the topic. Your current introduction is clear but can be more direct about your agreement or disagreement with the view.

task response

Include more concrete examples or statistics to further strengthen your argument. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear transition between paragraphs, connecting ideas in a seamless manner to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Be precise with terminology to avoid any confusion. For instance, 'students who study illegally' could be elaborated or clarified.

task response

The essay effectively addresses the relationship between violent images and crime, providing a sound argument against the notion.

coherence cohesion

Good structural organization is evident, with defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task response

The essay covers a substantial breadth of ideas related to education and legal knowledge influencing crime rates.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

362 words

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In many countries an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television in computer and video games. Ton what extent do yo agree or disagree with this view?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Space explorations costs tax payers an extra orbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space explorations?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many parents teach their kids that everything can be achieved if they work try enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?