IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #teachers #influence #intelligence #development #parents
Many people argue that teachers play a greater role in children’s intelligence and social
development
 than their parents. While I agree that teachers may be more influential in their students’ intelligence, I would believe parents are mainly responsible for the social
development
 of their children. On the one hand, it is undeniable that teachers are those who have been trained to impart knowledge to their pupils in a variety of creative teaching methods.
As a result
, it is undoubtedly a contributing factor to the intellectual
development
 of children.
In addition
, some teachers are capable of stimulating intelligence.
For instance
, many youngsters are interested in and become good at a particular subject because of their dedicated teachers who taught
this
 discipline in secondary school.
On the other hand
, I suppose that parents have greater responsibilities for their children’s social
development
 due to several reasons.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that children spend more time with their families than their teachers.
Therefore
, parents can monitor the activities and guide the
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 of their child in a positive way, especially outside school hours, at weekends and during holidays.
Secondly
, parents can be role models for their children in a wide range of social situations. These might include how to show
respects
Suggestion
respect
 to the older people, choice of friends and proper
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 when in public
such
 as eating out in a restaurant. In conclusion, for all reasons mentioned above, I would maintain that teachers have more impacts on the intellectual
development
 of school students, while parents play the major role in their children’s social
development
.
Submitted by nhaianh27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: