IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

the traditional that the family gets together to eats meal is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

#impacts
Over the past few years, there are families who are forgetting the
traditional
Suggestion
tradition
 of the meeting of the whole
familys’
a social unit living together
family
families
 members in the meals. We will find out some reasons why
this
 happened and the consequence of
this
 problem. The main cause of
this
 problem is the children who eat in front of
TV
Suggestion
the TV
. In the modern life, when the industry is in stage of 4.0, following the development of technology. The children have an interest with programmes in the
TV
such
 as cartoon movies,
TV
 shows for kids or so on. It is not only that, but
also
 they live in a single-parent household what a thing nobody wishes for.
Moreover
, the more the world grows, the more the people work hard.
Therefore
,
this
 issue leads to
kids’ parents
Suggestion
the kids’ parents
 are careless in taking care of
childrens’
Suggestion
children’s
children
child’s
Childrens’
 meals or they have no time to teach them how the way of correct
eat
the thing named or in question
it
. The effect of
these
denotes a person or thing
this
 has been and will continue to be very serious.
Firstly
, it is not good for their health as making them becomes kids’ weakness and to be difficult against diseases. The
second
, the younger people eat in front of
TV
Suggestion
the TV
a TV
 that influence the form of the
childrens’
Suggestion
child’s
children
children’s
 personality and when they mature in
this
 condition, the
next
 generation will
also
 be impacted. The truth is, the meals of the family will be not important and break the traditional which was maintained in thousands of years. In conclusion, these
is
Suggestion
are
obviously
Suggestion
obvious
 reasons that have a particularly negative effect
to
Suggestion
of
on
 a close-knit family so the people must pay attention to their family more to prevent unhappiness.
Submitted by nguyenthuan97haha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: