some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case?do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Smartphones spread among adults and
children
equally, but the effects are more obvious on the latter which is logical regarding their young age. Some parents believe providing their
kids
with mobile
phones
can benefit safety and education. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
view for many reasons that will be explained alongside a few factors of
this
phenomenon.
To begin
with,
children
's addiction is the major reason why they spend too much time on their
phones
, and
this
is because
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the device from a very young age complicates it on
kids
to quit it after that since they have no autonomy over themselves.
Moreover
, the features and characteristics smartphones contain astonish young pupils. Like, the brightness, shininess, various games, and the ability to chat with their friends. All of these advantages encourage
kids
to spend hours switching between all of these different features without feeling tedious. In terms of the drawbacks of
this
development, lads should not waste numerous hours on the screen
due to
the detrimental impacts it has on physical and mental health.
For example
, a lack of concentration is caused by
children
's sprees on their
phones
without paying attention to what is happening around them
as well as
laziness and indolence, leading to obesity because of the
kids
' estrangement from exercising.
Additionally
, affecting on the lads' mentality and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, regarding their young age, inexperience, and the facility to pursue them, especially with the appearance of social media that does not emphasize
children
's content supervision
For instance
, if most of the videos that the child watches consist violence, he will tend to have aggressive actions, and
this
is because these meta forms do are not concern about the child's ethics.
To sum up
, mobile
phones
danger
occurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
show examples
when it is misused, and
that is
what we can not prevent
kids
from doing all the time even if we take the appropriate precautions, they will always find a way to deepen in it is darkness. So, we must not allow them to have one before making sure they are aware enough
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
to employ it in the right way.
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your opinion more strongly, and outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transitions between paragraphs and main ideas to enhance the essay's flow.
general
Make sure to proofread for grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity and comprehension.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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