IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a wild range of
entretainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 activities, in their free time people like to go out of the house and recreate. For that, there is necessary to have entertainment venues, that can be divided
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 three categories: Sports, Theme Parks and Cinemas. Looking at the first picture, we can
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 note that cinemas are the most visited venues, there were more
tan
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 1000
visits
Use synonyms
 in 2009, Theme Parks were less visited, like 350
visits
Use synonyms
aprox
Correct your spelling
approx
. And sports venues have less
tan
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 200
visits
Use synonyms
 that year.
This
Linking Words
 has a strange
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
 with the admission price
ticket
Use synonyms
.
cinema
Correct article usage
The cinema
show examples
, which has more
visits
Use synonyms
, is the one that has the lowest price
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ticket
Use synonyms
, only $15, and
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a familiar
ticket
Use synonyms
, for 4 people, that
costs
Use synonyms
 only $55. Sports have different
tipes
Correct your spelling
types
 of events, that have a range of prices, the lowest is the Cricket Game
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
costs
Use synonyms
 $24 and the highest is the football game-AFL,
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is priced at $75. One
ticket
Use synonyms
 to a Theme Park
costs
Use synonyms
 $70 and the family
ticket
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 $210
Submitted by isa.silva.a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, ticket, costs with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: