All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Globally, the worldwide percentage of obese individuals is rapidly increasing. Major reason's for

this

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are

firstly

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, the adoption of a sedentary lifestyle and

secondly

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, unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

choices.

However

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, these obstacles can be overcome by many solutions.

To begin

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with, a high BMI is due to unhealthy lifestyle trends in the

21 st

Suggestion

21s t

century. With busy everyday lives, we gravitate towards easy lunch and dinner options

such

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as, fast

Suggestion

as fast food,

food

Use synonyms

and microwaveable meals, which are high in sugar and fat content. To illustrate, a study conducted by the American obesity society found that

fast

Suggestion

the fast food industry market

food

Use synonyms

industry market has tripled since the

year

Use synonyms

2000.

Moreover

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, people do not find the time to include

exercise

Use synonyms

in their everyday lives.

This

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is because

exercise

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is key in burning fats and building

muscle which

Accept comma addition

muscle, which

in turn reduces your total body fat percentage.

This

Linking Words

lack of

exercise

Use synonyms

combined with unhealthy eating is a recipe for disaster. The aftermath's of obesity are countless. The biggest one is that it leads to massive health deterioration, through the interactions

occuring

come to pass

occurring

through our

bodies

Suggestion

body's

body

physiology,

specfically

in distinction from others

specifically

, the negative interaction of fat and cells.

For example

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, overweight people are 70% more likely to develop diseases

such

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as heart failure, hypertension and diabetes, the leading causes for death worldwide.

This

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causes early morbidity in younger individuals.

Furthermore

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, person's with body mass index higher than 30

result

Suggestion

results

in massive losses to the

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

system every

year

Use synonyms

. Due to the liability of their diseases, millions of dollars are spent each

year

Use synonyms

on their medication.

For example

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, a study by the NHS in 2018, found that 50% of hospital beds each

year

Use synonyms

were occupied by over weight

indivisuals

a human being

individuals

. In conclusion, awareness and implementation of healthy

food

Use synonyms

options

Accept space

as well as, more vigorous global

exercise

Use synonyms

schemes will help in solving the issue of the rise worldwide fat rates.

Consequently

Linking Words

, preventing the consequences that

arise

Accept comma addition

arise, such

such

Linking Words

as increased morbidity rates.

leena_likeySun Apr 07 2019

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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All over the world, the number of overweight people is growing. What do you feel are the main causes of this? What are the effects?

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think small town life is more suitable. Discuss both sides

Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that hospitals should spend money on equipment. Others think it would be better to spend money hiring doctors and nurses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others beilieve that the purpose of the museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.