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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many local languages today are dying out due to the rise of languages like English. Is this a positive or negative development?

#languages #rise #english #development
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Disappearance of local
languages
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 is common nowadays by substituting more global
languages
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such
Linking Words
 as English. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive evolution which might lead to interaction among different
countries
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 and
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of knowledge in various fields.
Firstly
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, English is a worldwide communicative tool for
people
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’s interaction.
People
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 who speak in same
language
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 have the ability to make friends, do business, host events etc. It’s not hard to notice how
people
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 discuss different kinds of events in posts on social media. They share ideas, speak their opinions and even find real friends.
People
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, who have similar interests and like-minded
people
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 tend to do common
projects
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. Despite members of the team of startup
projects
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, from different
countries
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, these
projects
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 launch immediately
due to
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 communicating without a
language
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 barrier. The history shows a number of successful
projects
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,
for instance
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, Elon Musk originally from South Africa, has gotten to the USA and has found appropriate partners. Stories like
this
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 motivate and lead young adults to use popular
languages
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such
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 as English widely.
Tthanks
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Thanks
 to our society, the same
languages
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 unite
people
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 from different
countries
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.
Secondly
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, the educational system develops quickly through a common
language
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.
People
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 share with experiences,
while
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 others read and brainstorm to not commit mistakes anymore or apply those challenges. Scientists from different
countries
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 create innovative products,
such
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 as medicines for heavy deceases.
Language
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 can help to solve global problems in our planet.
Finally
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,
language
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 is a reason for developing knowledge in various fields. In conclusion, even though local
languages
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 suffer
becaue
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because
 of the
spreadi
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spread
 of global
languages
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, there are many factors, which influence
people
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’s lives positively.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly and fully addresses the question. Consider exploring both positive and negative aspects of the topic to provide a more balanced argument. Adding a section to acknowledge the potential drawbacks of local languages disappearing could enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your essay. Use a range of cohesive devices effectively but ensure they are not overused or mechanically applied. Also, work on varying sentence structures to enhance readability and effect.
language accuracy
Pay attention to minor errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading your work can help eliminate these mistakes.
introduction conclusion clarity
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your main argument. This ensures that the reader is immediately aware of your stance on the topic and helps to reinforce your argument in the conclusion. It is also helpful to briefly outline the main points that will be discussed in the body of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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