IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
The explosion in advertising industry creates a question for many people about the ultimate aims of these advertisements. Whereas some people think that they often attract us buying things we don’t really need. I would argue that they help us to find items which can improve our standard of
life
. On the one hand, almost advertising companies aims at the basic needs of
audience
Suggestion
the audience
 but some agencies do not.
Firstly
, they use
eye-catching image
Suggestion
an eye-catching image
 and put it
everywhere which
Accept comma addition
everywhere, which
 everyone is able to see or use glamorous and successful people come discussions of their companies to make customers’ stable belief about their items, results in motivating consumers to buy goods impulsively.
Secondly
, unwary children could be easily swayed by captivating advertisements, take the advantage of
this
, lots of enterprises towards the target audiences
such
 as teenagers or children, and so they will put pressure on their parents to buy it though they don’t really need it.
On the other hand
, it seems to me that advertising brings us many good choices in order to improve the quality of
life
. They inform us meticulously about the choices we have especially in a modern business.
For instance
, you want to buy a
refrigerator but
Accept comma addition
refrigerator, but
 you don’t have enough time to gain knowledge about technology items so you are able to access to electronic advertisements on websites and you will be listened to advices from sales staff,
therefore
 you can have the best production which they want.
Moreover
, without advertising we would have less choice due to lacking of broaden about the pace of modern
life
.
As a result
, it’s so hard for us to enjoy a comfortable
life
, which almost people need. In conclusion, while advertising
often make
Suggestion
often makes
 us buy unnecessary goods, it seems to me that advertising
gradually increase
Suggestion
gradually increases
 the convenience of our
life
.
Submitted by nhantran23122003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: