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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that his is improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #society #money #possessions #importance #lives
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There is one segment of the population that believes that we live in a world where
materialism
Use synonyms
 is given too much importance;
others
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others, however
however
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, believe that
materialism
Use synonyms
 is essential in up scaling people’s lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of views and at the
end I
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end, I
 will give my own perspective on the matter. On one hand, people who believe that
materialism
Use synonyms
 is being given too much importance argue that
this
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behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 directly relates to inequitable distribution of wealth. People focus on earning more than their needs and end up buying possessions that are very expensive
such
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 as cars, expensive
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
 and watches and so on. Because of
this
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 rich segment of the society becomes richer and poor people
becomes
Suggestion
become
 so poor that they end up dying due to hunger.
For instance
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, the extreme example of in-equal distribution of wealth is in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
 where only 1% of the population owns 97% of the Country’s wealth.
On the contrary
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, people who believe that
materialism
Use synonyms
 is important in improving people’s lives argue that it provides jobs to people and reduces unemployment rate.
Use synonyms
Materialism
Suggestion
Naturalism
 in turn
also
Linking Words
 promotes consumerism which means that people will buy and consume more. In order to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 the demand of consumers, industries would be established, more industries would mean more jobs and less unemployment. In conclusion, in my opinion too much focus on
materialism
Use synonyms
 leads to an in-equal income distribution in any society,
this
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 is far more dangerous than the benefit of its role in creating employment opportunities.
Submitted by mbilalzm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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