Some people think that we live in a society where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe that his is improving our lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

There is one segment of the population that believes that we live in a world where
materialism
is given too much importance;
others
Accept comma addition
others, however
however
, believe that
materialism
is essential in up scaling people’s lifestyle.
This
essay will discuss both points of views and at the
end I
Accept comma addition
end, I
will give my own perspective on the matter. On one hand, people who believe that
materialism
is being given too much importance argue that
this
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
directly relates to inequitable distribution of wealth. People focus on earning more than their needs and end up buying possessions that are very expensive
such
as cars, expensive
jewelry
an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems (or imitation gems)
jewellery
and watches and so on. Because of
this
rich segment of the society becomes richer and poor people
becomes
Suggestion
become
so poor that they end up dying due to hunger.
For instance
, the extreme example of in-equal distribution of wealth is in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
where only 1% of the population owns 97% of the Country’s wealth.
On the contrary
, people who believe that
materialism
is important in improving people’s lives argue that it provides jobs to people and reduces unemployment rate.
Materialism
Suggestion
Naturalism
in turn
also
promotes consumerism which means that people will buy and consume more. In order to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
the demand of consumers, industries would be established, more industries would mean more jobs and less unemployment. In conclusion, in my opinion too much focus on
materialism
leads to an in-equal income distribution in any society,
this
is far more dangerous than the benefit of its role in creating employment opportunities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Try other services:

All the services are free for Premium users