IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many doctors say that people in today's world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

The table data
illustrates
Suggestion
illustrate
 the proportion of students attended the four different secondary schools (Specialist, Grammar, Voluntary-Controlled and Community Schools) in the year 2000, 2005 and 2009. Overall, it is obvious from the data that the number of students attended the Community school dramatically increased and present rate decreased drastically in Voluntary-controlled schools over the given period of nine years. The former can be ranked number one in 2009 and Specialist Schools became the least popular among mentioned schools. In detail, 12percent of students were attending the Community schools in the year 2000, which became more than double in 2005 and 58% present was recorded in 2009. In
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

conversely
Suggestion
conversation
conversations
, Voluntary-controlled Schools that had 20% attendance in 2009 that far less as compared to statistics recorded back in 2000 that was 52% for the same category of schools.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the attendees of Specialist Schools were only two
per cent
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percent
 less than the Grammar schools in the year2009 but in 2000 former school had exactly half the number of
student
Suggestion
students
 than the later one that was 12% and 24% respectively.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:

I was not sure about online platforms. But the feedback here is better than in a classroom.

Minu B. for Writing9"

Minu B.

IELTS score: 7.5
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