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Writing Samples
Band 5

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individually and an society ?

#people #countries #effect #society
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Nowadays, there has been reduced in the sleep pattern among people, in many parts of the world.
This
Linking Words
 trend of less sleep is due to the immense competition and pressure to reach a certain goal in life. To
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their desire, people
get
Suggestion
gets
 into
rat race
Suggestion
the rat race
 and
work
Use synonyms
 for long hours by compromising their sleep. It
certainly damage
Suggestion
certainly damages
is certainly damaging
has certainly damaged
 once productivity and
also
Linking Words
 it has
a
Suggestion
an
 indirect negative impact on the
society
Use synonyms
. At present, the pressure of achieving goals is very high. Usually earlier there was not many expectations about life, but now to
show case
a setting in which something can be displayed to best effect
showcase
 a good status in the
Use synonyms
society people
Accept comma addition
society, people
work
Use synonyms
 so hard, that they don’t even care about to relax and get a healthy sleep. The prestige of buying house, cars and branded things is the driving force for a long working hours by compromising on a
sleep
Suggestion
sleeper
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rat race
cost
Suggestion
costs
 a lot for a person and
society
Use synonyms
. Less sleep
reduce
Suggestion
reduces
 the productivity of an individual which in ultimately
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 the whole
society
Use synonyms
. The performance level
get
Suggestion
gets
 reduced and at the same time real potential of a person cannot be seen in their
work
Use synonyms
 or for the
society
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, a cricketer who have to perform well in the
matches but
Accept comma addition
matches, but
, if that cricketer does not get a good amount of sleep
then
Linking Words
 it is not possible to score good runs, it is scientifically
proved
Suggestion
proven
. To conclude, to achieve their personal goals people tend to
work
Use synonyms
 more and sleeps less. But
this
Linking Words
 effect the performance of the individual and it’s very difficult to give 100 percent in
work
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 low performance reflect
in
Suggestion
on
 the
society
Use synonyms
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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