some people believe that Government money should be spent on important things rather than arts such as painting and music. To what extent agree or disagree.

#people #government #money #arts #music

Whilst, many individuals think that authority money should be

expend

Suggestion

expended

on essential objects rather than arts like

music

and painting. In my opinion, spending on

health

and

education

in top priority, but disagree with no funding for

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. I would discuss about both these views in the following paragraphs. To embark with, there are myriad reason, why I am claiming that authority should be

spent

Suggestion

spending

money on vital things

such

health

and

education

. The

first

and an important reason,

health

is necessary for everyone. These days, diseases are very common, all people suffer from many types of sickness like diabetes, obesity and asthma. For

this

purpose,

Government

Suggestion

the Government

should be opened more and more hospitals and

health

center

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centre

; mankinds may do easily treatment.

Moreover

education play

Accept comma addition

education, play

vital role in humankind' s life. If humanity will decent educated,

country

Suggestion

the country

will easily develop. Contrary above to the statement, art is

also

important in

humanity life

Accept comma addition

humanity, life

such

as painting and

music

Furthermore

, painting

express

Suggestion

expresses

the emotions of

masses

Suggestion

the masses

, there is no need learn to any type language

for

Suggestion

understand it.

Thus

, everyone can easily understand it; which has shown in the painting.

In addition

to, melody illustrates the culture's

music

instead

of international

music

For example

, Vande Matram is

special song

Suggestion

the special song

a special song

of India since it represents the nation.

Music

creates more opportunities for employment; native can decent earn with the help of

music

Suggestion

the conclusion, both are necessary for mankinds. Government should be

spent

Suggestion

spending

more money on

education

and

health

although

also

spending for art but in limit.

Submitted by naresh on Mon Apr 29 2019

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that Government money should be spent on important things rather than arts such as painting and music. To what extent agree or disagree.

Your opinion

Nowadays, more people are becoming overweight. Some people think that the solution is to increase the price of fattening food? To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?