IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that sports played in teams are better than individual sports. Others don’t think so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #teams #don’t
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The enormous advantages of engaging in sporting activities - whether as a professional or for leisure -
can not
can not
cannot
 be overemphasised. While some participate in
team
 sports
such
 as soccer and cricket because of its attendant merits, others believe that getting involved in individual sports e.g.
tennis
Suggestion
Tennis
 and golf, have better prospects.
This
 essay will discuss both
standpoints but
Accept comma addition
standpoints, but
 in consonance with the former.
Firstly
, the most successful and famous sports veterans today emerge from
team
 sports
such
 as football, basketball and rugby.
This
 explains why, in a recent research from an International Sports Institute in Switzerland, 80 percent of
sampled population
Suggestion
the sampled population
 of school children between the ages of 8 and 15 confirmed that becoming professional footballers and basketball players as their biggest dream.
Also
, asides being a mutual source of motivation and ideas to one another in a group,
teamplay
also
 helps in achieving set goals quickly with minimal efforts. It is sometimes very exhaustive to expend individual effort to achieve a particular task.
For instance
, it will be
an
Suggestion
a
 Herculean task for a goalie of a soccer squad to dribble his way into the opponent's net without the supporting effort of his
team
 members.
On the contrary
, indecisiveness as well as individual differences which
has recently become
Suggestion
have recently become
 rampant with
team
 sports, form the basis of
argument
Suggestion
the argument
 for the advocates of a one-man
team
.
For instance
, the recent rate at which some (disgruntled) members of football teams across the world form cabals to sabotage the efforts of the whole
team
 is quite alarming.
This
 is very costly to the
team
 as it often results
to
Suggestion
in
 loss of concentration for other members and a consequent poor
team
 performance. In conclusion, with a more
delibrate
carefully thought out in advance
deliberate
 and strategic hire of
team
 managers and coaches
skillful
having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude
skilful
 in group dynamics and
team
 management, the benefits inherent in playing
team
 sports abound compared with playing individual sports. It is in "
Togetherness
Suggestion
Together
, Everyone Achieves More"-
TEAM
.
Submitted by ojediransamuel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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