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Writing Samples
Band 5

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #education #lessons #school #curriculum
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Due to urbanisation, people have started following
unhealthy lifestyle
Suggestion
an unhealthy lifestyle
 which is creating tremendous health ailments in them. Some are of the opinion that
key
Suggestion
the key
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 muddle is to include more physical activities in
education system
Suggestion
the education system
. I
completely
Suggestion
complete
 accord with
this
Linking Words
 notion as it will be beneficial to tackle
this
Linking Words
arising
advancing or becoming higher or greater in degree or value or status
rising
 issue. There are umpteen factors why sports should be inculcated in the curriculum.
Primary reason
Suggestion
The primary reason
 is
that is
Linking Words
 if it is imbibed in the system, people will become more aware about
benefits
Suggestion
the benefits
 of healthy living and they will start obeying that way of living. Every individual will start consuming balanced diet. Another reason is that
living active
Accept comma addition
living, active
 and healthy lifestyle
make
Suggestion
makes
 people less prone to physical or any mental hurdles. People should commence exercising or at-least walking on
daily basis
Suggestion
a daily basis
.
For instance
Linking Words
, The reports have shown that people who are more fitness freaks are healthy and active and are least lethargic in their daily schedule.
Although
Linking Words
 infusing physical activities will make people healthy, people will not stop
intaking
Suggestion
 junk food. There should be stern actions against the fast foods and unhealthy food items so that individuals will find it difficult to afford them and
as a result
Linking Words
 will stop purchasing them.
For example
Linking Words
, there are records which stated that levying taxes on tobacco products make people impossible to buy those products. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
 there are
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of measures which can assist people in maintaining their healthy and sound lifestyle, having physical education at
grass
Suggestion
the grass
-root level of the child’s curriculum will prove more favourable towards fitness and health.
Submitted by rups.mahajan26 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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