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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people prefer to be in the same kind of job their entire life, but others like to change their jobs frequently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A lot of people stick to one kind of job position their entire lives,
while
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 others prefer to experience a wide range of
occupations
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. From my perspective, I firmly agree with the former opinion of staying in the same
career
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.
To begin
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, there are several implicit reasons for
this
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 preference.
Firstly
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, the major reason for
this
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 decision is possibly their objective thinking.
In particular
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, these loyal employees have found careers that make them enthusiastic and dedicated. These
occupations
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 utilize almost all their talents, leading to a perfect feeling.
As a result
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, they may believe these feelings cannot be replicated in other employments, deterring them from exploring other
occupations
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.
For example
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, many employees avoid changing jobs
due to
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 fear of insecurity and a lack of confidence in their abilities.
Secondly
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, there are advantages to employment loyalty,
such
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 as more opportunities to climb the
career
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 ladder. In simple terms, working a long time in a company builds trust with employers and provides more opportunities to prove their abilities, which are crucial factors in being appointed to higher positions.
However
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, working in a wider range of employment has many advantages.
Firstly
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, few companies can guarantee their workers lifelong employment. If individuals switch jobs, they continue to learn new skills and become more versatile.
As a consequence
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, they can ensure they never struggle with unemployment.
Furthermore
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, despite the effort and money spent on the university to achieve a degree, some graduates change their
occupations
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 after an internship because they feel the job is not suitable for them.
Thus
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, a new
career
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 could make them feel more energized and motivated as they find inspiration in their new
career
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.
For instance
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, a creative genius might feel more comfortable working as an artist or musician rather than a scientist.
To conclude
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, the mentioned rationales, including objective thinking, individual abilities, and more promotion opportunities, are justifiable.
Additionally
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, working in multiple careers helps accumulate more experience, learn new skills, and gain flexibility and motivation, which are essential for well-being.
Nevertheless
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, I still agree with staying loyal to a specific position because I find my job fulfilling.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly structured, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea. However, ensure that each main point is equally supported with relevant examples to further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses both views and your own opinion, which is fundamental for task achievement. Be careful to balance the explanation and support for each view more evenly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in creating a cohesive whole.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and help to support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You’ve clearly articulated both perspectives and provided your own opinion, making for a comprehensive response.
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