IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#governments #effort #alternative #sources #energy
Many authorities all over the world already pay attention on developing new resources of
energy
 to replace the old ones
;
Accept space
;
However
, it seems not enough
hence
 there are some ideas that they should try harder to encourage producers. In my point of view,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 totally support
this
 viewpoint because of some reasons
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will mention underneath.
our
Suggestion
Our
 planet is running out of fossil fuels
such
 as coal, gas and diesel in
near future
Suggestion
the near future
,
therefore
 it is incredibly important to find out some
altenative
one of a number of things from which only one can be chosen
alternative
 sources of
energy
.
as
Suggestion
As
 we know nowadays the major percentage of energies which we are using come from minerals, it is really unsustainable growth for any nations or organizations because it will empty soon as predictions of some experts. Generally speaking, a host of political leaders
are keeping
Suggestion
is keeping
 an eye on
this
 problem and investing
for
Suggestion
in
 many
studys
be a student; follow a course of study; be enrolled at an institute of learning
studies
 to exploit new energies including sun, tidal and solar.
However
, not only expensive
technology but
Accept comma addition
technology, but
also
unconvenient
not suited to your comfort, purpose or needs
inconvenient
 conditions are two factors which hinder government to access and manipulate new energies in massive scale. As far as we are concerned, the Earth is polluted in many aspects
such
 as air, water, soil.
This
 is because human activities which burn coal, petrol, wood and gas for
energy
, so these elements end up spreading a massive gas emission which causes
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 effect in global scale.
Hence
, we should take
actions
Suggestion
action
 to cut down on demands for it. Take deforestation as an example, many regions in the world are
detroying
do away with, cause the destruction or undoing of
destroying
 forests for fuel,
as a
result some
Accept comma addition
result, some
 natural disasters occur
frequently
Accept comma addition
frequently, such
such
 as flash floods or droughts because of lost
cover
Suggestion
covered
 by forests. Having said that, the more effective new energies, the more sustainable lives we can obtain. In conclusion, there are several serious concerns about
energy
 in our era,
thus
, government should pay more attention on alternative resource of
energy
 to solve those problems.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • spearheading
  • sustainable
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • transitioning
  • economic implications
  • government policies
  • research and development
  • national energy security
  • public-private sector collaboration
  • diversifying
  • environmental impact
  • clean energy
  • industry growth
  • dependence on imported fuels
  • alternative sources
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