IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #access #information
Since 1990s, the
internet
 is booming at
such
 a high rate that almost everyone in the developed countries has
access
 to the
internet
 in some form or the other. It has helped people to
access
wealth
Suggestion
a wealth
the wealth
 of
information
 and connect with their friends and family through social media. But, it
also
 poses risks to people's personal
information
 and children are getting addicted to their phones. Nowadays, with the advancements in the mobile phones and cheaper
internet
 data plans, more and more people are getting connected to the
internet
 than ever before. People can read about the latest news, events and many other things from all around the world in just a few seconds. But due to the ease of
accees
the right to enter
access
 to the
information
, many people don't realize that their personal
information
such
 as birth date, passwords, social security number, bank account numbers and other private data can be stolen by hackers if they don't keep it secured.
For instance
,
man
a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'as' or 'too' or 'so' or 'that'; amounting to a large but indefinite number
many
 hackers send the malicious software to people through email and if you click the link present in the email, they get
access
 to
you
of you or yourself
your
 computer or mobile phone and may get
access
 to your bank accounts
also
. The other big problem due to
internet
access
 is that the children in the current generation are so much addicted to their phones that they waste a lot of their precious time browsing
though
by means of; with aid of; through the act or agency of; "destroyed by fire"
through
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 or watching videos on
youtube
Suggestion
YouTube
.
This
 hamper their studies which in turn
affects
Suggestion
affect
 their career in a long run
As a result
, I think that
although
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 has provided
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of
benefit s
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
 with the ease of accessing
information
, it can
also
 turn out into
nightmare
Suggestion
a nightmare
the nightmare
nightmares
 if your private data
is not secured
Suggestion
are not secured
 or your children spend too much time on their phones or computers.
Submitted by perikpatva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: