IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Environmental hazards are often too great for particular countries or individuals to tackle. We have arrived at a point in time where the only way to lessen environmental problems is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#hazards #countries #individuals #point #time #level
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It is evident that environmental issues
such
 as climate change, deforestation, and air pollution require a global collaboration to effectively address them.
However
,
while
 International cooperation and agreements are crucial, local activities at individual and national levels play a significant role. I am content that countries can control
this
 problem by establishing regulations and implementing penalties on individuals or industries who fail to comply with environmental guidelines.
To begin
 with, environmental issues are complex and rooted in many causes. Some of these causes can be controlled on a global scale and others on a local scale.
For example
, climate change is one of the problems that threaten our lives.
This
 issue can be regulated through international
cooperations
Fix the agreement mistake
cooperation
show examples
 to set an agreement to limit the emissions emitted by each country.
Thus
, collaboration is beneficial in certain challenges our planet undergoes.
On the other hand
, local activities and initiatives can lead to greater results in terms of protecting our environment .
For example
, if a country sets up a list of regulations and penalties on people or companies enforcing them to follow more sustainable actions. These penalties can include increasing fines or taxes.
As a result
, it will keep them away from engaging in
an excesses
Replace the word
excessive
show examples
 behaviours.
Hence
, we can minimize the negative effects on our planet.
Overall
, saving the planet is a collective duty. Governments and citizens can collaborate and contribute to mitigate these issues.
However
, we can not neglect the fact that local efforts
such
 as setting punishments for exceeding rules.
Consequently
, we can control our impact on the environment.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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task achievement
To enhance the clarity and impact of your ideas, consider further developing your main points with more specific and varied examples. Additionally, ensure your arguments are fully elaborated to support each thesis point clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your argument structure is generally logical, but make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly and all parts connect cohesively. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view, acknowledging the roles of both international and local actions in addressing environmental issues. This comprehensive approach strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for your essay. This enhances the overall structure and makes your position clear from the outset.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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