Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?
Today more
people
are travelling than ever before. The reasons for this
increase
are many and varied. On a simplistic level, there are larger numbers of means of transportation - there are more cars, buses and trains in operation. However
, the sheer number
of transportation means is not enough to explain this
increase
. The cost of travelling; even though it is as
present increasing Change preposition
at
due to
an increasing economic slow-down globally; is still relatively affordable to many people
. This
affordability is further
enhanced by the use of credit cards and loans in order to fund travel
, especially for holiday purposes. An increase
of travel
companies in competition with each other has also
helped bring package prices down, while
an increase
in the number
of operating flights globally has also
increased, giving rise to falling air-fare prices. In addition
, people
now have more leisure time and disposable incomes. The combination of these two variables with unrelenting advertising campaigns from travel
companies and cruise ship operators arguably leads to an increase
in the number
of people
travelling, in this
case for holiday purposes. Another reason why people
travel
is going to work. More than ever before, people
are travelling greater distances to get to work. Larger industrial sites for both service and production industries are tending
to be located outside city areas. Wrong verb form
tend
This
invariably leads to increases in the number
of people
travelling locally. In conclusion, there are many reasons why people
are travelling both internationally and locally, for business and for leisure. What is sure is that this
increase
is likely to continue until travelling at current rates is no longer economically viable.Submitted by raufpasayev83 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and flows logically, but there are a few areas that can be improved. Ensure all sentences are clear and concise, and watch out for minor grammatical errors that can affect readability.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, adding more examples or statistics to support your arguments could make your points even stronger. Also, consider expanding on the point about traveling for work to make it more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have a clear and comprehensive approach to answering the question, covering multiple aspects of why people travel more now.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective, clearly setting up and summarizing your argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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