IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

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Today more
people
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 are travelling than ever before. The reasons for
this
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increase
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 are many and varied. On a simplistic level, there are larger numbers of means of transportation - there are more cars, buses and trains in operation.
However
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, the sheer
number
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 of transportation means is not enough to explain
this
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increase
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. The cost of travelling; even though it is
as
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at
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 present increasing
due to
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 an increasing economic slow-down globally; is still relatively affordable to many
people
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.
This
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 affordability is
further
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 enhanced by the use of credit cards and loans in order to fund
travel
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, especially for holiday purposes. An
increase
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 of
travel
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 companies in competition with each other has
also
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 helped bring package prices down,
while
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 an
increase
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 in the
number
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 of operating flights globally has
also
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 increased, giving rise to falling air-fare prices.
In addition
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,
people
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 now have more leisure time and disposable incomes. The combination of these two variables with unrelenting advertising campaigns from
travel
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 companies and cruise ship operators arguably leads to an
increase
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 in the
number
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 of
people
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 travelling, in
this
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 case for holiday purposes. Another reason why
people
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travel
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 is going to work. More than ever before,
people
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 are travelling greater distances to get to work. Larger industrial sites for both service and production industries
are tending
Wrong verb form
tend
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 to be located outside city areas.
This
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 invariably leads to increases in the
number
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 of
people
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 travelling locally. In conclusion, there are many reasons why
people
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 are travelling both internationally and locally, for business and for leisure. What is sure is that
this
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increase
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 is likely to continue until travelling at current rates is no longer economically viable.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and flows logically, but there are a few areas that can be improved. Ensure all sentences are clear and concise, and watch out for minor grammatical errors that can affect readability.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, adding more examples or statistics to support your arguments could make your points even stronger. Also, consider expanding on the point about traveling for work to make it more comprehensive.
task achievement
You have a clear and comprehensive approach to answering the question, covering multiple aspects of why people travel more now.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective, clearly setting up and summarizing your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
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