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Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #health #future
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience In future, the average standard of well-being of people is expected to be worsened than
present
Suggestion
the present
. I absolutely disagree with the statement, because advancement in medical sciences and increased
education level lead
Suggestion
the education level lead
 to cure and prevention respectively.
Firstly
, progression in
health sciences
Suggestion
the health sciences
 has controlled the morbidity and mortality by many folds. Compared to past, when even small
disease
 caused prolonged illness or death, nowadays every
disease
 can be cured.
This
 is because of evidence based research and contemporary practices in surgery and medical treatment. The research and development in medical will enhance
further
, and patients will be treated with much more ease without any significant side effects.
For example
, the drug used in chemotherapy for cancer patients has less side effects as compared to past and patients become healthy without compromising their hairs and immune system.
Hence
, big diseases are being cured with much more ease as compared to
past
Suggestion
the past
 and in
future
Suggestion
the future
 the situation will become better.
Secondary
Suggestion
Secondarily
, the general
awareness
 and education about the cause and spread of diseases is being enhanced day by day. Due to
awareness
 campaigns, advancement in technology print and social media, people now are much aware about prevention from diseases. As a
results
Suggestion
result
, population care about their hygiene and surroundings due to which
disease
 did not
tool
the income or profit arising from such transactions as the sale of land or other property
took
 place
at
Suggestion
in
 the
first
 place and
also
 do not spread if it occurs.
For example
, In Pakistan, parents were reluctant to let their children take polio drops, but due to
awareness
 on Television, the number of parents taking their children for polio drops
has increased
Suggestion
have increased
 by leaps and bounds.
Hence
, in coming years more and more people will know about different diseases, which will prevent any
disease
 to occur and spread. To conclude, the consideration that general health indicators will get
worsen
(comparative of 'bad') inferior to another in quality or condition or desirability
worse
 in
future
Suggestion
the future
 does not hold significance.
This
 essay discussed that because of an increased
awareness
 about the diseases among
masses
Suggestion
the masses
 and research in
health sciences
Suggestion
the health sciences
 has led to
stoppage
Suggestion
the stoppage
 of
disease
 to occur at
first
 place and make its treatment much
easy
Suggestion
easier
.
Submitted by aims_ambitionss on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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