IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts.It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter * Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team * Summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts * Say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback
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Dear Sir, I am writing to you today to provide my feedback about the decision of your company to use the money for the benefit of our community. I would like to put forward some of the
benefits
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 of sponsoring the
children
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's
sports
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team
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.
Sports
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 is
the
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apply
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one of the best ways for
children
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 to develop skills like
team
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 building, planning and handling difficult situations effectively. If your company sponsors the local
children
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's
team
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, it will
be motivate
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be motivated
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 more and more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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children
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 to participate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sports
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 activities. It will truly help them for their overall development.
However
Linking Words
, there are few
benefits
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 of having
open air
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open-air
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concerts
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 as well
such
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 as the local food vendors can put up the stall and earn some money. Local bands can participate and showcase their talents. It will help them to get some
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
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 and bigger opportunities. In my perspective, your company should sponsor the local
children
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's
sports
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team
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 as it will drive more
children
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 towards
sports
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. It may inspire
another companies
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another company
other companies
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also
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 to do the same. Having
the
Correct article usage
apply
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open air
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open-air
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concerts
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 is a good idea but the community has already had five
concerts
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 in the past two years. So to sum it all up,
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benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of sponsoring the
children
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's
sports
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team
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 outweighs the
benefits
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 of paying for
open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
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concerts
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.
Thanks
Replace the word
Thank
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 you for your time and consideration. Yours sincerely, Riddhi
Submitted by riddhisargiya1 on

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