A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts.It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter * Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team * Summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts * Say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback

Dear Sir, I am writing to you today to provide my feedback about the decision of your company to use the money for the benefit of our community. I would like to put forward some of the

benefits

of sponsoring the

children

sports

team

Sports

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

one of the best ways for

children

to develop skills like

team

building, planning and handling difficult situations effectively. If your company sponsors the local

children

team

, it will

be motivate

Change the verb form

be motivated

show examples

more and more

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

children

to participate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

activities. It will truly help them for their overall development.

However

, there are few

benefits

of having

open air

Add a hyphen

open-air

show examples

concerts

as well

such

as the local food vendors can put up the stall and earn some money. Local bands can participate and showcase their talents. It will help them to get some

promotion

Fix the agreement mistake

promotions

show examples

and bigger opportunities. In my perspective, your company should sponsor the local

children

sports

team

as it will drive more

children

towards

sports

. It may inspire

another companies

Replace the adjective

another company

other companies

show examples

also

to do the same. Having

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open air

Add a hyphen

open-air

show examples

concerts

is a good idea but the community has already had five

concerts

in the past two years. So to sum it all up,

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of sponsoring the

children

sports

team

outweighs the

benefits

of paying for

open air

Add a hyphen

open-air

show examples

concerts

Thanks

Replace the word

Thank

show examples

you for your time and consideration. Yours sincerely, Riddhi

Submitted by riddhisargiya1 on Wed May 15 2019

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

229 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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