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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Write about the following topic: Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #research #characteristics #influence #personality #development #experiences #life
Every person has a personality which depends on the characteristics they are born with or the experience with which an individual goes through in his
life
.
According to
 some research, it is believed that the traits we are born with mostly influence our personality development.
This
 essay will discuss what is the major influence with some relevant examples. There is no doubt that the family in which we are born makes a huge difference in our upbringing. Every family has a varied culture, education, and standard of living which is somehow visible in our own behaviour.
For instance
, a child born in a rich family will have a different outlook on
life
 as compared to someone who is born in a poor family. The rich child is born with all the luxury and because he doesn’t have to worry about his daily needs, he can pursue his dreams without any hurdle. But,
on the other hand
, the poor child has to work a little extra to achieve his goals.
Although
 traits with which we are born
with does
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 affect our nature,
life
 experiences do have a major impact on our persona. As they say,
life
 is the best teacher, we learn as we grow from situations and people we meet.
For example
, my family is traditional when it comes to values and culture. They believe that modernization is destroying today's generation, but I don't think the same. Because I moved out to study and met different people, I have realized that both traditional and modern values should go hand-in-hand. In conclusion,
although
 family background does influence some aspects of your
life
, it is the experience that impacts your
overall
 development.
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

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task response
To enhance your task response, consider providing a more balanced view by acknowledging the importance of both innate traits and life experiences. This can make your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to demonstrate a clear progression of ideas and how one point leads to another.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for your essay. It successfully outlines the main argument and indicates how you will address the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples from personal experience that add depth and authenticity to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes well by summarizing the main points and restating your stance, which provides a coherent end to your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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