IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #enquiries #tourist #information #office #city #period #features #comparisons
The
graph
 shows the tourism information office
enquires
 received in 2011 from
January
 to
June
, comparing the
enquires
 done “in person”, “by letter/email” and “by telephone”. The
graph
 has a scale from 0 to 2,000 and
register
Correct subject-verb agreement
registers
show examples
 how many
enquires
 they had in each month divided by type. Observing the
graph
, we can see that
enquires
 “in person” raised considerably during the six-month period. On
January
 400
enquires
 were registered and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
, up to 2,000
enquires
 were done in person, representing a 500% increase.
Enquires
 by telephone
also
 raised approximately 160% from
January
 (1,000) to
June
 (1,600), but
on the other hand
,
enquires
 by telephone decreased
50
Change preposition
by 50
show examples
%, as we can see that 800
enquires
 were done
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
January
 and just 400
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
. Analyzing the
graph
, we can
also
 note that the total amount of
enquires
 increased quickly, approx. 2,000
enquires
 were done
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
January
 against 4,000
enquires
 done
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
June
 and that on February the three enquire types had a very similar demand, approx. 600 “in person”, 700 “by letter/e-mail” and 800 “by telephone”, and from March onwards they started to increase or decrease as reported above.
Submitted by natalia.orfali on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, enquires, january, june, “by with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
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