IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #meat #fish #health #world
There is no doubt that throughout the
last
 decade, the rise of living standards has significantly turned human lives into new pages, particularly eating habits. Unlike previous generations, it is currently reported that the number of vegetarians develops remarkably because of its wider scale benefit. Before presenting
writer's idea
Suggestion
a writer's idea
writer's ideas
the writer's idea
, the following essay will
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 on
advantages
Suggestion
the advantages
 of vegetarianism on individual and social scale. More specifically, when it comes to purpose of not consuming protein, two most outstanding ones are keeping fit and for the sake of natural habitats.
First
, considering maintain
body
 shape, it is apparent that eating
meat
 means taking in
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of fat and bad cholesterol, which fuels the danger of obesity and heart diseases.
Therefore
, eating veggies will turn
body
Suggestion
the body
 into detox mode, not only reduced
fat but
Accept comma addition
fat, but
also
 provide more vitamins to get a fit
body
 would appropriate figures.
Second
, eating less protein may contribute to protect natural habitats, especially decrease the rate of
overfishing
.
Moreover
, the lower demand
on
Suggestion
for
meat
 might lead to the decline in
meat
 production together with global warming caused by food manufacturing factories. From my perspective, I firmly oppose with the viewpoint that being a lifelong vegetarian provides long-lasting benefits in terms of
body's energy
Suggestion
the body's energy
 and farmers' income. As we all know, that only taking in
vegetable
Suggestion
the vegetable
 can provide enough nutrients and energy remains controversial due to the fact that our bodies are designed to absorb vital substances to lead a healthy life from
meat
 and fish like the DHA. Being vegetarians can make our life greener,
however
, it does not meet human being bodies' needs.
In addition
, people believe that less consumerism will protect the animal habitats.
Nonetheless
, several animals all raised to be eaten,
such
 as cattle, if we do not consider eating
meat
 or fish ever after, it may greatly affect farmers' profit or even demand them to change jobs. In a nutshell,
although
 vegetarianism has undoubtedly strong points related to
body
 fit and
environment
Suggestion
the environment
, choosing no longer consuming protein should be taken into serious consideration because of
body
 requirements as well as others' profit.
Submitted by nhox_thix_8_1999 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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